Full on Nerd Mode

 I guess it is official, I've suspected it for years: we are a family of nerds, of geeks, of irredeemable weirdos, isn't it great!  Yesterday we bought a praying mantis egg case for our son for Christmas (and he is delighted).  I'm expecting an email on how to get certified to test poultry for salmonella (and excited about it).  I've decided to read the Silmarillion and am officially waitlisted at the library.  And this is just one day.  I hope you don't deny your inner nerd, let it shine!

Be Interesting, Read Good Books!

 During a rather long winter season of even longer colds and influenza and whatever other respiratory ills were lurking about like villains in a bad gothic novel, I thought I'd peruse our state library's online offerings and read me some modern literature.  Ugh.  Of 800 offerings categorized 'Christian' 600 were Amish/Western type romance fluff, very few of the others were even that enticing.  I sampled a few of these Hallmark movie turned novels and after a few cavities I gave up in despair, apparently all that it takes to be a Christian nowadays is to refrain from any sort of PG13 content, throw in a few sentences about a Good and Faithful God, and look we're 'Christian.'  This is why I stick with stuff written prior to 1973 (that and most 1930 and prior writings are public domain!).  I've been reading things like The Worm Ouroboros and The Once and Future King, along with Chesterton, Austen, and Tolkien lately (and boy is my daily lingo waxing archaic!).  Good solid books that make you think and grow and ask questions and ponder.  Habits society doesn't think we need any longer, what with AI and google, but which I argue we need even more desperately if we can ever hope to compete with such.  So put down that flimsy modern novel, or better yet, get off YouTube (or at least watch a good documentary!) and get ye to a library or even project Gutenberg and find a book actually worth reading, yes it might be hard, or a little slow, but it will make the world a broader, more interesting place and you an actual person, instead of a soulless bot who knows nothing but the latest feed on social media!  

Banff, Quail, and Licorice

 Yes, it has been a hectic and interesting period since my last post.  I thought my first post would be about our trip to Banff (splendid!) or our new obsession with raising domestic quail (adorable and tasty) but I guess it is going to be about licorice.  Yes, that wheat containing sugar product you can't make at home and have it gluten free (sorry, it is just taffy kids!).  That thing I can now sit here and eat.  Yes, my mysterious malady has gone the way of all flesh, happily without me.  Toddle on over to 'a companion to owls' for the full story.  It was a miracle plain and simple.  15 years of pain, lethargy, dietary Russian roulette, and social stigma and isolation gone just like that.  And while I did get a nice cookbook out of it, I must say, real wheat bread is still way better than anything I could make or buy, though that pizza crust on the Walmart pizza we bought to celebrate wasn't all that great!  I'll get around to the other topics eventually, thanks for the chat!

Fiber, graham crackers, and other notes of middling to no interest!

 I've republished my psyllium gluten free baking book as the 'Happy Fiber Book,' with a little synopsis on fiber (exciting, I know!) to make it more palatable to the fiber community (if there is such a thing) or for those who like whole grains but haven't a clue about gluten free baking.  There are a couple new recipes in both along with a new cover, as well as updating the haphazard guide.  Also the graham cracker recipe is missing 1/2 cup brown sugar and becomes a nice pliable dough instead of a semi-liquid with the psyllium.

Boldy going where apparently nobody has ever gone before? Making bread specifically to make croutons!

 There are very few things you can't find on the internet, one of them is obscure acoustic guitars last made in the late '70s, another is apparently the egregious sin of making bread specifically to make croutons.  To most people, croutons are best procured pre-made by the modern industrial food complex.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Most people don't make their own bread, let alone their own croutons.  Or they have some leftover bread they want to use up before it turns into a rock or grows penicillium mold and is therefore no longer organic (sorry, science joke!).  But why on earth would you go to the trouble of making bread and then turn around and 'ruin' the wondrous creation by turning it into croutons?  The simple answer is dietary necessity!

I love commercial croutons, they are cheap and tasty, but alas, due to dietary restrictions I can no longer eat them.  There are probably some really good gluten free ones out there too, but I can't afford them and they likely contain stuff I can't eat anyway.  The other issue is that gluten free bread has to be eaten warm or toasted, which is great if I'm at home and need a meal, but what happens when I'm road tripping or working a twelve hour shift somewhere that makes our semi-wild road trips look urban and civilized?  I need something I can eat on the trail, in the car, or in the barn that doesn't taste worse than the plastic bento box I pack it in.  Chips and crackers and I don't really get along and packing gluten free bread is a drag, especially on my appetite, ugh!  Then I remembered croutons.  So yes, to me they are a vital necessity when away from home (and a great snack when I'm there too!).  I often had bits and pieces of gluten free bread products I wanted to use up anyway but lately that hasn't been the case, so can I make bread just to make croutons?  Is there something I can do to streamline the process?  Google wasn't helpful in the least, but I remember life before the internet, so I thought maybe it was possible, even if the interweb failed to agree with me.

I took a rimmed baking sheet, sprayed it with cooking spray, spread out my usual bread dough in it, so it was about 1 cm thick and then covered it and let it rise.  I then baked it until golden brown and solid.  I let it cool on a wire rack then cut it into 3/4 inch squares, tossed them with butter, bouillon, and garlic pepper, and then toasted them until crunchy in my ninja foodi.  Yes, you can make bread just to make croutons!  Take that google!

Requisite Christmas Music Review!

  So someone else beat me to the punch this year, but happily he didn't write about the musicality of the season.  Check out his article on the storied ghosts of Christmas here, much recommended!  I know Charlie Brown really tried to get the true meaning of Christmas, but it's depressing.  I know the Grinch hinted at it, but the roast beast just doesn't cut it.  Even my local Christian radio station seems to be missing the boat, literally playing things like "Let it snow' and "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" endlessly but ignoring the many great sacred classics save an occasional instrumental nod from the Trans-Siberian Light Orchestra, at least there's no Santa Baby, that's a plus, right?  It sounds more like a seasonal mall sound track than anything else, especially a Christian station at Christmas!  While I don't mind that stuff, sadly, like Charlie Brown, I am more than a little frustrated with our whole culture focusing on the tinsel and the glitz and ignoring the glaring ache that this season entails for many.  It seems we can either be insipidly happy or alone in our grief which often manifests as anger towards the season in its entirety.

But if you hate Christmas because you hurt, you aren't alone!  It is a problem native to all humanity, not just the modern post-christian west, our problem is the same as the ancient pre-christian east or even the insipidly pseudo-christian America of our nostalgic recollection.  While Charlie Brown thinks he hankers after that nostalgic, idyllic ghost of Christmases past, there is no such history, no such reality, because that has never been what Christmas has been about nor is it the ache that haunts his heart like Marley in Ebenezor's bed chamber.

Many of the secular Christmas haters are happy to proclaim that Jesus wasn't really born on December 25th and that we're simply recycling an old pagan holiday, and I'm most happy to agree with them, and their point is?  Men have always been religious, keenly interested and much afeared of the supernatural, at least until our materialistic modern age with its electric lights to forever drive off the dark of superstition and the utter night of ignorance, thinking we are quite something, as if we invented the physics behind the phenomenon, content in our assumption that it 'just happened,' and never questioning the Light behind our light and little realizing that by blinding their own eyes thereby, they are now the ignorant!  That is why we demand a Light in the darkness, and celebrate its coming at the darkest time of the year, not because we know Jesus was born on that particular day but rather that His coming at the appointed time relieved the spiritual darkness in which the whole world languished and we celebrate the fact as his first coming at the darkest time of the year.

But our problem is we forget why we celebrate His coming, yay a baby, a light of the world, but why is that significant?  His birth, while miraculous and marvelous and bright, is nothing, does nothing, rather it is His sinless life, His atoning death, and His conquering of death and darkness and sin forever by rising again to new life that we can sing and rejoice and make merry this time of year and all the year long!  But we'd rather sit with our glitz and jingle, aching inside, making merry without, and wondering why we can't be happy when everybody else seems to be as well.

This is where the great sacred Christmas hymns come in, look past the first well known verse or chorus or the haunting instrumental and delve into the depth, the mystery, the sorrow, the joy, the meaning of this babe's incarnation, the very word made flesh.  Only therein can we find meaning and true joy in this paradoxical season of utmost joy and aching loneliness and unrelenting sorrow, only in Him can all find their true 'comfort and joy.'  Santa and Grinches are fine and fun, but let us not forget the true meaning behind it all!

I fell in love with a smoker...well, actually it is a grill with a bad habit! A review of the Ninja Outdoor Smoker/Grill

 I don't grill.  Too much work and fuss and mess for usually unreliable results.  A propane grill is expensive and doesn't add much flavor.  A charcoal grill is time consuming and fussy.  And actually getting into the smoker craze looks a bit intimidating.  I remember charred, dry burgers from my childhood.  Steak that was burned on one side and raw on the other.  No thanks!  Did I mention we have winter here: feet of snow and negative temps and lots of wind?  

A year or two ago a distant relation made supper on an electric grill, and we briefly looked into getting one, but never bit, it wasn't all that different than stovetop or broiler.  I did buy a ninja foodi (pressure cooker/air fryer combo) last summer and have been super happy with that, but a grill?  Then ninja decided the world needed their own version, and I was curious, but the price was a bit steep.  I kept an eye on it but even on sale it was around $300.  But I finally found a basic version (refurbished) for significantly less and  gave it a try.

It is an electric grill with a smoker function used solely to impart flavor, the heat is all electric.  I bought it in November (we had a foot of snow the week before Halloween but strangely moderate temps after that). I've used it weekly (including temps in the 20s F) since.  I think I'm in love again, if one can have an affair with a kitchen appliance.  Like the foodi, it has a plethora of functions, but you pretty much only use it for grill or smoker, like the foodi is either pressure cooker or air fryer and you don't use the other settings.  I tried the air fryer but wasn't impressed, I'd rather do it in the foodi.  I also haven't used the smoker setting on a long low temp yet, instead I stuck a 7 pound pork butt in the pressure cooker for an hour and then smoked it for an hour and the results were pretty good without having to cook it in the smoker for 6-8 hours.  

It is small and portable, but it is also large enough to do quite a bit of meat at one time.  Clean-up is a snap and you don't have to stand there watching the thing, just check it every so often, turning as needed, which is why I can use it in December!  It gives a nice smoked flavor to things but isn't a true smoker, this won't replace your Traeger but it is a nice option for beginners and the timid or people with limited space/time.  It cooks fast, food comes out tender and juicy (I do brine my meat which probably helps as well), and it is simple, easy, and fun to use.  Definitely a great investment, especially for the first time griller/smoker!