Overachievers

Anyone who has ever been a parent (or a kid), knows that our modern culture is all about milestones, achievements, and success.  It starts the minute you know you're pregnant and doesn't end, ever.  Boy or girl?  When do you first feel movement?  What about a name?  It's a competition and it never slackens, never lets up, if we let it.  What ever happened to childhood?  To innocence?  To fun and play and exploration and imagination?  They got eaten by the success monster.

Our little boy will be five this spring, and I guess he's finally, officially potty trained as of this morning.  We started when he was two.  From the time he was a year old, people were telling me about their kid who was potty trained at 18 months...as if it was some sort of competition or race or you got a super bowl ring if your kid was a potty genius, not that anyone in his college class will know if he was independent at 2 years or 6.  He's been out of diapers since his third birthday, except at night.  Last night was his first night without pull-ups and he did great.  Was it that we were bad parents?  Is he some sort of an ignoramus?

No, he just wasn't ready.  He sleeps hard.  He once fell out of bed and kept on snoozing.  He'd never wake up to go potty, he'd just sleep right on through it.  He's finally waking up to go potty.  Interestingly, this afflicts about 20% of kids in this age range in one form or another, but you NEVER hear anyone talking about it.  Some don't have the neuronal maturity required, some are just hard sleepers, or whatever, but it is normal and it is okay.  We could have gotten him up at midnight to go potty, which really wouldn't have accomplished anything except disrupt all our sleep.  Instead, we just gave him time, and it worked.  No stress, no pressure, just patience and gentle encouragement.  And when he was ready, he was ready.

We are all in a hurry in this culture, so much so that we miss out on so much, suffer so much unnecessary stress and pressure, and really don't enjoy life, even when we do succeed because we're so concerned about what's next.  What are you pressuring yourself or your kids to do that really doesn't matter?  When was the last time you actually just lived, instead of forcing things to a hasty conclusion?  Slow down, enjoy it, life is fleeting enough without us hastening it along.

Cheesy pretzel bites

For years I have been trying to perfect the 'melty cheese inside soft, garlicky bread' that somehow restaurants and food manufacturers have been able to produce in their stuffed pizza crusts and cheese filled breadsticks.  Even Pinterest is replete with ideas, but alas, no matter what I do, mine always explode in the oven and all that awesome cheese oozes out.  I tried something new the other day and the results were not only tasty (and excellently cheesy) but also rather pretty.  A little putzy, but well worth the effort and with minimal mess.  You will need:

Bread dough (I used my bread machine with a basic white recipe, but you can use whatever technique/recipe you prefer, including store bought or frozen, amount depends on how much you want to make, they freeze and reheat well so you might as well make a bunch).

Cheese (something with a nice flavor that melts well is preferable, mozzarella is a little bland but melts nicely, I also used a bacon/processed cheddar that was really good).

Vegetable oil and seasonings (garlic, celery salt, basil, parmesan cheese) for brushing on top.

2 quarts of water with 1/4 cup baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) dissolved in it.

Bring the water to a boil on the stovetop.  Divide the dough into 1 inch balls (large marble size) and cut cheese into bite size cubes.  Flatten each dough ball with fingers into a circle and place a piece of cheese in the center.  Mold dough around cheese until completely covered, pinching seams and leaving no holes, cracks, or other openings.  Place dough balls in boiling water and remove with a slotted spoon once they float, allow to drain briefly on a towel before placing on a cookie sheet.  Mix oil and preferred seasoning and brush over dough balls.  Bake in a 375 degree oven until golden brown and puffy.  Enjoy with your favorite dipping sauce.

Snow days

I woke up expecting quite the Christmas 'gift,' but was strangely disappointed to find the long prophesied Blizzard was a bust, somewhat reminiscent of those ancient days wherein we anxiously watched the words scrolling across the bottom of the local news channel (one of our 3 channels!) and strained our ears to catch the first hint from the radio that school was in fact canceled, and when it wasn't I felt just the same.  But it was a weird day, it was quiet, as if all creation were holding its breath, waiting for something.  Everything was white with hoar frost and blurry with fog, there was no traffic, no hustle and bustle, coming or going; silence.  An eerie, expectant silence.  The hours ticked by, but nothing changed.  We made a merry meal within, but without, the world brooded, pensive and mysterious.  Then it began to snow.

Darkness crept in at an obscenely early hour, as it always does this time of year, and the wind with it. I no longer had to imagine how the pioneers and farmers of yore managed to get lost walking from the barn to the house, only to wander lost forever in the dark and cold, snow and wind, until death stayed their futile steps.  The wind howled, the snow was hurled about in its fury, and it seemed impenetrable night had descended upon us, isolating us from all other men, as if we were alone upon the whole face of the world.  Morning came, but the storm raged on for a few more hours, but now the digging out must begin.  Finally, days later, life can resume its normal rhythms.

It was late, but it came, and I must say, I was not disappointed in the least.  If you are going to have all the trouble, danger, and annoyance of winter weather, you might as well have something spectacular and grand, something to talk over for the balance of the current winter and to bore your kids and grandkids with in all the winters to come.  'You think this was bad, you should have seen the Christmas Blizzard of '16...'

On gifts for the kids in your life...

The parent in me rather dreads Christmas, with a house near to bursting with stuff, why do we need more?  But all our well meaning family and friends cannot fathom why another toy, especially of the obnoxious and electronic sort, would be unwelcome; obviously such devices did not exist when they or their children were small (or they'd understand) or they are enacting their own form of delighted revenge upon whom they may, having suffered in their own turn.  But all my pleas for books and blocks or contributions to his educational fund fall on deaf ears (perhaps the result of too many din inducing toys in their own turn?).  So it is I banish the less offensive to the basement and heartlessly yank out batteries from the most grievous offenders, if I do not banish them from the house entirely, Grinch that I am, but all have had thorough warning, even before our little bundle of joy (noisy enough in his own right) even came home.

But strangely, he doesn't seem to notice or care.  He is intrigued for a day or an hour, but soon enough, the device is relegated to obscurity and quickly forgotten as he returns to his favorite essentials: cars and tractors, animals (stuffed and plastic), blocks, a wagon, dining room chairs draped in a blanket (though you can buy a set of plastic connectable tubes out of a fancy catalog to achieve the same result, which seems rather silly when you already possess the means)...cheap, quiet, low tech, and endlessly entertaining when combined with an active imagination!  I will admit, we are raising him 'amish,' with little screen time save an occasional movie and skyping with the grandparents (which in itself has confused him about normal phone calls, he can't figure out why he can hear a voice without seeing a person!).  I'm not sure what normal, tech addicted kids find interesting or amusing, but my '80's throwback certainly prefers the mundane basics of many an ancient childhood and thrives thereupon.

Then again, our church's kid program hosts several dozen 'techy' kids every week, and they seem absolutely fascinated by the ever intriguing balloon (ages 3-12).  These fast paced, split second attention span, high tech kids are riveted to that red or green, air filled sphere, as if it were the newest iPhone, released two days early for their sole consumption.  Then there is the political correctness factor to be considered, guns being absolutely anathema for little boys in this enlightened day and age, but if I took away his lego 'gun' he'd simply use his hand or a stick or whatever, apparently people who think they can legislate or enforce such ideals have never been parents to little boys.  Neither can I convince him to put away the 'gun' and to play quietly with some acceptable, gender neutral toy, quite contrary to popular thought and trendy parenting, this little boy seems hardwired and very determined to be just that: loud, noisy, rambunctious, and joyfully so.

So what is to be done by the well meaning gift giver, in the age of 'the techy-ier' the better?  Forget about tech and go old school (be retro?).  Don't just buy them a book, read it to them.  Don't just give them blocks, build a castle with them.  Or forgo stuff altogether and rather go caroling with them to the local shut-ins, work at a soup kitchen together, shovel the neighbor's walk, make cookies, go see a good movie (or host your own), make Christmas dinner together...they'll love it and the memories will long outlast whatever techno gadget you thought they couldn't live without, that and you'll earn their parents' undying gratitude!

Caramel Fudge

I scoured the internet looking for a recipe for Caramel Fudge, but not finding anything too tempting, I tried a variation of my own, and it may be my best fudge recipe yet, though it is impossible to choose which type of fudge is my favorite flavor, it varies by the minute!

You'll need:

1/2 cup butter (one stick)
2/3 cup evaporated milk (5 oz)
1.5 cups brown sugar (darker the better)

2 cups mini marshmallows
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup soft caramels (Kraft are good, cut into pieces)

A greased 9x9 pan.

Melt butter in large microwave safe mixing bowl, stir in evaporated milk and brown sugar. Microwave on high until boiling, remove and stir.  Replace in microwave and boil on high for 7 minutes, stirring every 2-3 minutes. Remove and stir in marshmallows, white chocolate chips, and caramels and stir until smooth and creamy. Pour immediately into a greased 9x9 pan (it sets up quick!).

Enjoy!

Not a Hallmark Christmas

Obviously it need not be stated that everybody enjoys this strange, wonderful, wacky Holiday Season, whatever your worldview, religious beliefs, culture, traditions...there must be something about this time of year that warms the heart (however slightly) of even the most dour materialist or hardcore secular humanist, be it only a holiday bonus in their paycheck, an extra day off, excellent shopping deals, or the mysterious beauty of moonlight on fresh snow with that sharp, exquisite chill in the air of a starry winter night.  What is less widely known, is that everybody also loathes this season to some extent.  Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grinch easily come to mind as the ultimate holiday haters, but it isn't an actual loathing of the season itself and the weird transformation it seems to cause in otherwise mundane life and people.  There are many who would happily forgo the expense and stress and busyness of the season, but neither is this the cause of this deep-seated dread of the phrase, 'Happy Holidays.'  Nor yet is it those who royally dislike 'the Christmas story,' and all its associations, for this uneasiness afflicts many a staunch lover of that age old tale.

What scares us so much about this dreadful season?  Pain.  Longing.  Loneliness.  Unfulfilled hopes and longings, broken lives and relationships, shattered dreams.  We've lost a loved one or a relationship has crumbled or we feel we have no one to love or that no one loves us.  We desire a relationship, a life, a family, a home, a job...our health is imperiled or age presses heavily upon us.  We've lost our job or haven't reached the place in life we thought we should at this point or our family is broken, shattered, or scattered and we have no happy memories of the past nor a place to celebrate the present.  We are victims of abuse, violence, poverty, disease, neglect...  Whatever it is, we each carry something, perhaps several somethings, that cause us secret pain and agony with every thought of the looming season, when everyone else's joys seem on brightest display, our own disquiet night seems all the darker.

But the crazy thing is, no one's life is what social media portrays it to be.  Everyone is struggling with something, especially during this holiday season, but we are all so worried about ruining some else's joy that we forsake our own by wallowing alone in our unique sorrows and miseries rather than seeking love and encouragement from the equally broken people around us.  This season did not begin as a joyous frivolity for the unbroken folk all about us, there aren't any, we all have some sorrow, some regret, some longing or dream unfulfilled.  It began in poverty and fear, darkness and loneliness, amid social ostracism and political unrest, four hundred years since anyone had dared hope that a light might truly shine in the darkness.  The most important event in the history of the world began in very substandard housing, witnessed by the meanest folk society could then boast.

Listen to the Christmas hymns, no, not the modern secular variants giddily proclaiming silver bells and roasting chestnuts for all.  Rather listen to the timeless music, mysterious and haunting, reverent, sad, but joyous; actually read the verses, full of mystery, pain, longing, unmet hopes, and the answer thereto.  Advent is the season of longing, of centuries of desire and unmet promises coming to fulfillment.  You are not alone, nothing afflicts you that has not beset every human heart since the dawn of time.  There is a tinge of mystery in the tradition of Christmas, and certainly a little sadness, but also a joy the world can ill contain.  Your pain won't magically go away, but perhaps you can find strength to better bear it, and a hope beyond this world.

Oh, come, our Dayspring from on high, 

And cheer us by your drawing nigh, 

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, 

And death's dark shadows put to flight. 

Oh, come, O Key of David, come, 

And open wide our heav'nly home; 

Make safe the way that leads on high, 

And close the path to misery.

Amen!

An excellent reminder that a clean house isn't the most important thing in life!