On trendy workouts and the dreams of little girls

I took a dance class when I was five and the most memorable part of the whole experience?  The Dr. Seuss bookmark we received as a parting gift of course...I don't think I'll ever live long enough to understand five year olds, even having been one and now owning one...maybe with the grandkids?  The great grandkids?  Oh well, back to the topic at hand, I was reading this article and though not particularly interested in the 'body image within ballet' topic of the article, there was an undercurrent of ballet's influence on modern culture that was very intriguing, including the mention of something called Barre.  Apparently it's a rather popular workout trend incorporating some of the aspects of ballet into the routine (yes, it's been popular for a couple years, but I live 80 miles from the nearest gym and several thousand miles from either coast!).  I've already developed a pointless affectation for floaty-twirly skirts and would love to sport the updos (though am grievously lacking in the hair required to do so) so why not look into a little of the physical training aspect of the discipline that I can possibly do at home (again, no gym or ballet studio for an obscene count of miles!).  So of course I googled it and found this article that has links to 7 different workouts and I chose one just to see what happened.

I am not coordinated enough for group activities like aerobics nor do I have the endurance for prolonged high energy output.  Combine that with shaky joints that like to hyper-extend and parts that don't stay in place (like knee caps!) and finding an exercise routine that will keep me interested, motivated, that I can do at home, and that doesn't kill me physically sounds like an impossibility, but I've been doing the workout I chose for 40 minutes a day 3 days a week and still look forward to my next class.  I really like that it works on building core strength and balance but also gives you the option of an aerobic workout if you're up for it; you can also modify the moves so they are more accessible to your physical needs and fitness level.  I will never audition for Swan Lake, but I've really enjoyed exploring this current 'fad' in fitness routines and more importantly, it gets me moving, keeps me moving, and motivated and that's a very good thing, especially with Christmas cookie season looming!

My good opinion once lost...

I remember someone had a shirt in high school (one of the few things I remember from that bygone era) that had a picture of a very grouchy looking Yosemite Sam on it with the saying, 'if I want your opinion I'll give it to you.'  I was rather puzzled back then as to the meaning of the shirt, but now I get it.  My only conundrum now is how is it that Yosemite Sam knows what it is to be a mother in this day and age?

I am so tired of everyone and their dog, well maybe not the dog, dogs at least don't talk, but everyone else has an opinion on what my baby should be doing at this moment developmentally and if she isn't,  they know instinctively how to rectify the matter, especially if they've never had kids.  Complete strangers at the grocery store, grandparents, the garbage man and UPS guy, the internet is rife with such personages...  Yes, she spits up, a lot.  No, she isn't sleeping through the night.  Okay, her head is maybe a wee bit flat but we have her on her stomach as much as physically possible.  Yes, we've tried just about everything, so please no more comments about cereal, which supposedly fixes everything from spit-up to midnight feedings (it doesn't, at least not for my kid), or burping or essential oils or...  Unless you spend 24/7 with this budding human, please do not weigh in on the subject unless asked, what worked for your kid or that internet guru may or may not work for ours, but we've probably already tried it, so thanks for your concern and good intentions, but please, no more good advice!

I think that may be the best gift anyone can give a mom, new or veteran: silence, blissful silence, at least when it comes to 'how' to mother.  She knows this child better than anyone ever will, she knows what works and what doesn't.  She's stressed and guilty and terrified enough, please don't make her feel even more so.  Give her your unflagging support and encouragement instead, tell her what she's doing well or that her baby looks great or just listen as she unloads verbally about sleepless nights and screaming infants or maybe even have a real adult conversation with her that has nothing to do with co-sleeping or organic diapers!

The Second Worst

So my all time least favorite Christmas song is 'Hippopatomus For Christmas,' yes it is cute and amusing the first time you hear it, but after that it is just plain annoying.  My next least favorite is 'Two Front Teeth,' and no, I won't justify such atrocious creations as 'Santa Baby' by calling it and its ludicrous cousins music so therefore they can't be on my list of least favorite songs.  Sadly, my son is singing the latter for his school 'Winter Concert.'  I've long dreaded the day when my own kids would have to sing such vapid ditties to satisfy the warm and fuzzy holiday yearnings of a politically correct parent population.  Personally I'd rather forego the exercise altogether, since there is absolutely no meaning in any of it, and have them sing some good secular music instead and reserve the 'Holiday Cheer' for a venue that actually places some meaning and value on the season, rather than singing mediocre music with a vaguely holiday theme that satisfies nobody.  After such a display I feel like I've bitten into a seemingly ooey gooey fudgie brownie only to discover it is one of those anathema vegan concoctions containing black beans and artificial sweetener instead.  I think Ebenezer Scrooge might have won the 'Christmas Wars' after all!  Maybe I'd better reread 'A Christmas Carol' just to make sure it ends how I thought it did.  I would love to know what Jane Austen would think of the absurdity of our modern notion that we must certainly celebrate Christmas but not in such a way that anyone would know that we're celebrating Christmas: I'll just have to mull over that amusing theory while listening to the next twelve years of requisite 'Winter' concerts, happy thought indeed!

Not your ordinary kitchen disaster

We all have our favorite kitchen disaster story, or own or one to rib a friend or family member with, but I just topped my own record.  I fell in love with a certain brand of honey mustard pretzels, and being the cheapskate, I mean frugal person that I am, I thought I'd save a few bucks and make my own.  I did an online search for recipes but the reviews all said there was little flavor or they were soggy; the recipe called for vegetable oil mixed with a little mustard, one reviewer suggested a water based glaze to avoid the soggy factor.  My brilliant idea was why not just use actual mustard, a whole cup of it, which I jazzed up a bit with some seasonings, coated my sourdough pretzels, and baked them in the oven until dry.  The pretzels turned out great, but apparently I unleashed a weapon even Hitler refrained from using: mustard gas.  I started getting a headache and sick to my stomach so I opened up the windows, turned on the oven fan, packed up the baby, and left the house.  Long story short, don't attempt this project without adequate ventilation or just spend the extra money and buy the pre-made pretzels!

The Stuff You REALLY Need immediately for a domestic infant adoption

I was just reading a blog post on what you need for an emergency adoption placement of a newborn and I was rather astonished that we had managed to survive without a great deal of those 'vital' supplies.  We had no organic baby shampoo or hypoallergenic laundry soap, let alone a bottle sterilization system.  While all that stuff is trendy and nice if you can afford it, the truth is, adoption is expensive and unless you are very well off, most of it isn't really worth it: your child will grow up just fine on store brand formula.  So what does the cash-strapped hopeful adoptive family really need?

Every child and every adoption is unique.  Some people are matched the day their homestudy is approved while others wait years.  Some find out they will be parents the day the child is born while others have six months to prepare.  Some folks start decorating the nursery and stashing onesies the minute they start filling out paperwork while others don't have the heart to invest in (or look at) that unused baby gear for what might be years (or never).  There is no right or perfect way to go about, but there are some basics that every newborn needs.  And even if you can't stand to look at all that cutesie gear and empty nursery, it wouldn't be a bad idea to stash a prepared diaper bag and some basic equipment in the back of a closet, just in case you get 'the call' and need to go, now!  Another consideration is where are you adopting from?  Will you be flying or driving?  If you are flying, it may be more convenient to buy much of the bigger/awkward stuff when you get there, but also consider that you may not feel much like shopping during or after the whole ordeal as you'll be exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally (trust me, you will!).  This list also assumes a healthy child without major complications or issues.  If your baby is born prematurely, hooked on drugs, or with a major health concern, obviously your needs will be far different!

Sleeping: while newborns sleep a lot, it is never when, where, or how you plan it.  Neither of ours slept in the crib until 3-4 months of age, preferring a bassinet or even the car seat (you do what you must to survive!).  If you'll be traveling or stuck in a hotel room for any amount of time, consider something portable.  Most newborns seem to prefer something snug and some prefer a slight angle (rather than laying flat).  There are all sorts of ingenious options out there nowadays so take a look even if you don't want to invest in a crib just yet.

Feeding: buy a can of formula (or stock up on freebie sample cans) and get a set of bottles, also get a basic bottle brush and a drying rack.  While you may be one of those super-parents planning to induce lactation, you never know what is going to happen or when.  All formula must be FDA approved so it really doesn't matter which brand you get and most kids do fine on the regular stuff, reserve the more expensive 'gentle' stuff for those with an actual sensitivity issue.  You don't need to sterilize the bottles or boil the water or even warm the bottle.  Room temperature tap water is just fine for a healthy, full term baby and a thorough wash and rinse with plain old dish soap and water will clean your bottles just fine.

Diapers: buy the biggest box of size 1 disposable diapers you can find from the brand of your choice, though I'd start with a national brand and experiment with generics once all the adoption/new parent excitement has worn off.  Skip the Newborn and Preemie size (unless you have a preemie or 4 pound twins) otherwise you may never use them or they'll outgrow them in a week.  Skip the diaper pail for now and buy a roll of doggie poop bags at the dollar store for messy diapers and just toss the wet ones in the regular trash.  Also get a multipack of disposable wipes with the plastic, reclosable lids.  Don't worry about the cloth diapers right now, again, something to try when life gets dull.  Also get a tube of diaper ointment of your choice, just in case.  A blanket or towel works great as a changing pad too!

Clothes and Accessories: footie pajamas.  That's all you'll need for the first three months, really!  Skip the newborn size and get 0-3 month or even 3-6 months in a gender neutral color.  Okay, get a few cute things for pictures and that sort of thing, but for convenience, hygiene, and warmth, you can't beat footie pajamas.  A diaper bag that both parents feel comfortable with is a necessity, but think outside the box: messenger bag, backpack, etc.  A few soft, absorbent bibs just in case you get a 'spitter' are a good idea to have on hand along with a few blankets and burp clothes (cloth diapers, receiving blankets, even hand or dish towels work) are also a must.  A car seat cover or some heavier blankets are necessary if you will be taking your baby out in the winter (forget the bunting or snow suit at this point).

Carseat and stroller: you can't leave the hospital without a car seat and if you plan on lugging junior around for any length of time, get a stroller to go with it.  If you will be flying or stuck in a distant state for any length of time waiting for paperwork to clear, you'll want a stroller (unless you want to spend 10 days in your hotel room).  You don't need the $750 travel system, the basic sets from your local big box store work just as well.  Don't even worry about an extra 'base' at this point, as most can be easily strapped in with a regular seat belt.  Just make sure you buy one new and watch the expiration date.

Other handy items for baby: a pacifier, an infant carrier (the kind where you can 'wear' your baby), baby soap and lotion (get the travel size initially), nasal saline drops and a bulb syringe for a stuffy nose.

Handy items/tips for the adoption experience: get a real camera and learn how to use it while you wait for 'the call,' find a thoughtful gift for the birth parents (we gave them a nice frame with a picture of them and the baby), book a nice hotel room with a kitchenette or find something homey on sites like Airbnb if you will be staying somewhere for any length of time, arrange with friends/family ahead of time to have someone to watch the kids/pets/house on a moment's notice because you just never know!

The List:

-portable, snug sleeping contraption
-formula
-4-6 bottles, brush, and rack
-size 1 diapers (name brand)
-wipes
-doggie poop bags
-diaper ointment of choice
-8-10 footie pajamas size 0-3 and 3-6 month
-bibs (3), blankets (3-5), burp clothes (5-10)
-carseat and stroller ('a travel system')
-pacifier
-wearable infant carrier
-baby soap/lotion in travel size
-nasal saline drops/bulb syringe
-camera, data cards, batteries
-gift for birth parents

Happy Fall!

My mother used to make 'donut muffins' when I was a kid, they were good but I've only made them once since they are messy, sticky, and may not be worth the effort.  But what happens when you combine 'donut muffins' with apple cider?  These might have been the best thing I've ever made!  Yes, they are a little messy but they are totally worth it.  What a perfect fall treat!

And as an added bonus, if you read the comments section beneath the recipe, there's an amusing anecdote from an individual who can't understand why the recipe failed and was completely inedible, hint: this recipe calls for apple cider, not apple cider vinegar!  Ugh!

Sugar Cake (in the cast iron skillet)

I've never heard of Sugar Cake before, nor thought much of baking in cast iron, but both are a good idea.  It's easy, it's moist, it's wonderful, and it's cast iron, enough said.  Try it!