Whose vacation?

 I just read a book called 'Busman's Honeymoon,' and not being a native Brit, cognizant of the parlance of the 1930s, I adjourned to google for a definition of the phrase, 'Busman's Holiday,' which is an ingenious little phrase describing doing what you do for a living on your vacation (the bus driver goes on a bus tour!).  I love the British take on the English language, contributions like 'ginormous' are distinctly American, ugh!  In the novel, a pair of newly married amateur detectives discover a body in the basement of their new house, and story proceeds as usual.  I was minded of our recent 'vacation.'  As a mostly stay-at-home mom, I've noticed most people, including myself, don't think homemakers ever need time off.  While my husband got away from the office and pulpit for a few days and the kids got a break from school, I was still cooking, cleaning, organizing, packing, putting away, scheduling...except I get the added treat of doing it away from home while making sure everything at home and our church doesn't disintegrate in our absence.  I need a vacation to recover from my 'vacation!'

I'm not complaining, I love my family, our home, our congregation, and my ability to work part time in my profession, but the idea that I come home from a family vacation 'refreshed and relaxed' just isn't true, if anything, I'm completely useless for a week afterwards, able to do only the bare minimum required for family survival and not a hair more.  Then there's the dreaded 'conferences,' be they church or professional, in which I need to make arrangements for the feeding and sustenance of those left behind while I travel to an undisclosed location for 'personal improvement,' which in itself is exhausting, only to return and clean up the disaster that is my home life after a two day absence and pick up where I left off in our weekly schedule.  Who finds a women's retreat refreshing?  I won't mention the times my husband has wondered if we could go as a family to a professional conference and do some sightseeing between my 20 hours of CE crammed into three days, help!

I think I remember these things being far easier in college and as a young adult, maybe I had more energy and fewer responsibilities back then or maybe I was just young and stupid and didn't notice I was tired or maybe I look back with flawed vision to 'the good old days?'  Whatever the reason, my idea of a vacation is to stay blissfully at home, eating a boxed pizza, the kids in bed, and a good movie distracting both parents from the mundanities of life and ministry for a few lovely hours.  Life was so much simpler when I could cram it all in a backpack and speed off into the sunset for a long weekend, sleeping on someone's couch, and return to my studies on Monday no worse for wear.  But life was also less full, more lonely, with no meaning save the vague and foggy hope that the future might yield purpose and direction.  I don't think I'd go back if I could, it might be easier back then, but life now is deeper, and though exhausting, more joyful.