I couldn't say it better!

Here it is folks, if you want your haphazard domesticity to be a happy one, here is the secret!  Joy thy name is wisdom!  Enjoy!

The Mommy's New Groove?

Is it just my experience or do babies turn otherwise normal people into semi-creepy stalkers who think they are justified in asking the most intimate personal questions?  I'll be traipsing through the bean aisle idly comparing species and price per ounce only to look up and find someone nose to nose with my daughter in her car seat in the shopping cart.  Or unloading my hard won legumes at check-out only to have the guy behind me barraging me with personal questions while literally touching my child's cheek instead of attending to his own groceries.  Or the fifteen different old ladies who ask if she's for sale at the thrift store, which is rather disconcerting when you are in the middle of an adoption and she's not even legally my kid yet!  I won't even get into the tips, hints, advice, and questions about any and every aspect of birth, conception, infertility, adoption, and parenting from complete strangers!  I don't know what it is, maybe it's just me, but this has happened with both my kids.  A baby seems to act like a full moon on a werewolf: people just mutate into semi-rude enthusiasts who have never heard of boundaries or tact.

What do you say?  What do you do?  You don't want to be rude but you also don't want strangers in your kid's face.  How do you answer impertinent questions, especially when it's an adoption and you'd rather not get into the gory details with a random person in the checkout line?  It's bad enough when the relatives go a little batty, but do I really have to deal with it at the grocery store from complete strangers too?  Maybe I should just be like the guy in 'The Emperor's New Groove,' and start shouting, 'no touchy' at all and sundry and set my myrmidons on them when they throw off 'my groove.'  Me likes!  Remember: 'Do not meddle in the affairs of mommies, for they are subtle and quick to anger.'

How to feed a baby or something like that

I've never really understood the 'airplane noise' approach to feeding small children.  Maybe I'm too prosaic or impatient to try (though I'm silly enough at other times).  But with my vast experience (n=2), perhaps I needs must write up a case study on the phenomenon.  My hypothesis shall be: a baby in motion will stay in motion...wait, sorry wrong branch of science!  How about: the best way to feed your baby is however your baby likes to eat.  If your baby requires the airplane method, then by all means use the airplane method and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.  My son wouldn't eat anything for 2.5 years and my daughter will eat anything (including scavenging under the buffet for lost crumbs and handfuls of dirt out of the flower pots!).  You could make airplane noises until you gained altitude but my son would still just glower at you and scream if you tried to put anything in his mouth unsanctioned.  He was also using silverware (big people version) by a year and insisted on doing everything himself and was the neatest baby I'm aware of (it was rather scary).  His sister is a happy disaster, the messier the better!  She might even smile at your airplane noises but don't stop feeding her to make them or you'll hear about it.

So there you have it, the simplest and easiest method to feed a baby: get a baby that likes to eat, nothing could be more straightforward...but you have a baby that isn't a good eater...hmmm...have you tried the airplane method?

Surviving Mother's Day and every day in between

Mother's Day looms, and for many, it is a painful day indeed, either because of a broken family, the death of a loved one, or the inability to have a family of your own for one reason or another, but here's an article you might find helpful for surviving not only that day but perhaps a lifetime of such sorrow, but also remember, this past Sunday was Easter, the very day when all we think we knew about life and death, suffering, hope, and despair got turned on its head.  Joy comes with the morning, remember that!  But first we must endure the night, and it can be long indeed, but morning will come if only we can hold on.