Embracing modern trends

I saw an article in a major magazine probably six months ago regarding one of the new 'hip' (can I still use that word?) lifestyles becoming more and more common in the West: the childfree life.  Reading the article, I thought most of the people interviewed seemed rather shallow, selfish, and juvenile in their reasoning for embracing this lifestyle, which is not surprising as parenting forces one to grow up and assume responsibility for a life not one's own.  I gave it little thought thereafter, until this week.  Now there is a huge difference between being 'childfree' and 'childless,' the first is a choice and embraced gladly, while the latter is often not by choice and usually quite painful for all involved, especially in a culture that regards parenting as something akin to a hobby and children as an impediment to 'success.'  What happened this week to refocus my attention on this issue?  I went to camp.

If one is struggling with any sort of family or relationship issues, well meaning individuals can cause intense pain without evening realizing it.  If you are sitting on an adoption waiting list, going through infertility, dealing with prolonged singleness, have recently been divorced or widowed, have suffered a miscarriage or abortion, etc, etc, it is very difficult to have people repeatedly ask, 'so when are you getting married?, how many kids do you have?, when are you going to start a family, etc.'  It basically rubs salt in an open wound, feelings you thought you had conquered are let out of the closet in all their ugly glory to romp once more through your addled mind, while you must maintain a fake smile, nod politely, and give some bland answer while wanting to run away and cry or snarkily say, 'mind your own business!'  My own particular questions this week was, "is he your only one?"  Referring to our two year old adopted son, asked about 15 times daily, as if having one child were akin to vacationing on Mars!  I would love to have more kids, but barring a miracle, that does not seem likely and I have resigned myself to that fact, being asked repeatedly if he is the only one in a tone suggesting that he has two heads gets on the nerves rather quickly!  Thus I have decided to embrace the modern lifestyle trend of the moment!  I am going childfree!

Being barren was seen as a disgrace in the old days, whereas we moderns have discovered it is actually awesome, freeing, and enlightened.  I am not childless, I am childfree!  And yes, my son has agreed to embrace this new lifestyle with me (ask in the right tone of voice and a toddler will agree to anything).  So the next time a well meaning lady with purple hair asks painful questions, I can reply jauntily that, "I am living the childfree lifestyle and loving it!"  Of course this will only confuse her no end as I walk off  pushing my stroller!  Yes, I am being completely nonsensical here, though on the six hour ride home with a disgruntled toddler in the backseat I begin to realize the wisdom of such a lifestyle.  Then we got home and he gives me one of those smiles and a great big hug and I realize life cannot be lived for oneself alone, that is merely existing, one must care for others to truly live.  I cannot lie on the beach for hours or go on a weekend trip to Paris on a whim, but that would not bring me Joy anyway.  Life is rather empty if You are the only reason you are alive.  I feel very sorry for those who willingly live only for themselves and only realize it too late when life is drab, colorless, and lonely how silly they have been.  This is not to say that parenting is the only option in loving others, there are many ways to serve our fellow men and love our neighbors, but rather, in choosing to live for my pleasure alone, I dig a deep and narrow grave for my once vibrant soul.  This is the answer to the question, "what does it profit a man to gain the whole world but to lose his soul?"  And the meaning of the paradoxical, "he who loses his life will keep it."  Which means, I suppose, that I must tolerate the prying questions of well meaning old ladies, patiently bearing the pain, for love is not without its costs.  

The ease of growing things

Gardening is really easy!  A friend of ours tilled up a much larger plot than we need and the whole thing is green and flourishing.  The caveat is that gardening is only easy if one is not picky about what one is growing.  My humble collection of corn and potatoes are surviving, the squash has yet to come up, and my pitiful peppers are not worth mentioning but the pigweed is phenomenal.  Now I just need to find a use for pigweed…maybe I can sell it as some sort of shampoo additive or nutritional supplement?  Now taking orders.

Curiouser and Curiouser

After traversing the globe this week (or so it feels) on an extended visit to see family and friends, it is very good to be home, even if it means a week's worth of neglected laundry, a garden overrun with vigorous weeds, and a moldy dishwasher (I always forget something and this time it was turning on the dishwasher!).  It was a fun (but exhausting) trip, I do not recommend traveling several thousand miles by car if accompanied by a two year old unless absolutely necessary.  Perhaps the most interesting revelation of our trip (and return to civilization) was what I learned about nutrition or what some people mistake for nutrition.

Apparently a thing is not nutritious because of what it contains but rather for what it lacks.  I had always laughed at jelly beans advertising that they were fat free (100% sugar) and at salt being gluten free, but I literally sat at a restaurant while the proprietor extolled the virtues of root beer.  I like root beer, I don't mind if my two year old has a little bit now and then, but it is rather hilarious (and a little scary) to sit at the lunch counter of a drive in restaurant eating your hamburger while the owner gives your son a complimentary taste of his own peculiar brew while explaining that it contains no corn syrup or preservatives, etc, etc, etc…  One would think by his description that we had discovered the Fountain of Youth rather than a local soda concoction consisting of mostly sugar.

Who cares that it does not contain corn syrup, it still contains sugar!  I have no problem with my kid consuming either in reasonable quantities but to assume one type of sweetener is somehow 'healthier' than another is rather amusing.  But what scares me is that this man must say this to parents on a regular basis and they must accept it as wisdom that somehow this drink is 'healthy' because it does not contain x, y, or z!  Is there so little understanding about nutrition among the general public that we simply avoid certain things and are thus eating 'healthy?'  Are we entering an age of nutritional legalism as our spiritual lives become ever more lax and vague?  But then a list of rules has never allowed the spirit to flourish and I doubt it will do much for our diets either, so in this case, 'let us eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!'