Gourmet or Bad Gardener?

I've finally taken the plunge and become a trendy foodie: I used fresh, homegrown basil in my latest pasta dish!  Now before you roll your eyes and say 'that's so three years ago, get with the times lady,' let me remind you that I am so far behind the times I still think the original Oregon Trail (circa 1987?) is the best video game ever!  I love basil, I use it in practically everything that isn't a dessert, but it gets spendy buying herbs and I've always wanted to try growing my own.  It is impossible to grow anything in my current climate, at least of the edible sort, what with herds of rampaging ungulates, 100% clay soil, and pretty much zero rain for most of the summer so I content myself with a few weeds, I mean wildflowers out in the flower beds and refrain my vegetable gardening to the freezer section at the local grocery store.  But I do have some nice big, bright windows so thought maybe an herb or two (also of the weed family!) might survive indoors.  I planted basil and parsley and both seem to be doing well, but the basil had reached the stage where I should be pinching it back.  I pinched back a tad too much on one plant, half the plant to be honest, and instead of wasting it, it went into the goulash.  Bad gardener, good cook?  Only time will tell!

Baby photo fails

It is finally a beautiful spring day out there, the dandelions are blooming and I really wanted to take a picture of our daughter amid the signature spring flowers (yes, they are flowers!).  I got some really cute shots, except in every one she is literally trying to or in the process of eating the dandelions!  Good thing they are edible!

The Strange Controversy of Celebration and Existence in the Modern Era

I was just thinking the other day that it isn't safe or politically correct to celebrate anything anymore, because obviously you will be offending someone somewhere, no matter how innocuous the day, I'm sure even Groundhog's Day must tick off the animal rights community no end.  Columbus ruined his day by apparently being a genocidal maniac.  I need not even mention the scandal that is Christmas.  In the US we just celebrated Mother's Day this past weekend, but I wonder how long it will last.  Father's Day is inappropriate and insensitive for all the fatherless children and single mothers of the world and because it celebrates men of all things, therefore it is obviously anti-woman (as some would reason it).  But what do you do with Mother's Day in light of the gender-transition movement? I've heard the UK is moving to strike 'mother' from it's medical jargon as an offensive term just in case the expectant parent happens to identify as male or something else.  As if that weren't confusing enough, motherhood itself is becoming rather a questionable pastime in our modern west.

I struggle personally with the holiday, having been raised by an abusive mother who once questioned my methodology in requesting a hug and later in my struggles with infertility and adoption, but I don't think we should quit honoring other women just because it is acutely painful to me, but there are many that think differently, either because they have likewise been injured by their own mothers or are unable to have children for a variety of reasons, understandable but selfish, or because they consider children at best a hobby or a nuisance and at worst a plague upon humanity.  I find it a rather chilling side-effect of modern culture that the very foundational stones of civilization (people) are becoming less important than our domestic animals.  The pet section at your local big box store is likely bigger than the baby section.  I'm fine with people having pets, but when those pets have a more socially acceptable place in society than kids, it becomes rather worrisome!

How many people do you know that have foregone having kids and instead 'adopt a fur baby?'  Few people see anything wrong with loving a dog, but a growing number are seeing something wrong with even wanting kids in the first place.  But the hard irony is that there wouldn't be people around to love dogs if previous generations hadn't also loved kids.  This isn't to beat up on the pet industry, I could as easily go on with examples from other lifestyle choices like traveling or skiing or any other human endeavor.  What it comes down to is the robot's worldview from 'The Matrix' is slowly coming true: humanity is a disease that is ravaging the planet.  The grand irony is that the robots were the bad guys in that film but a growing number of people seem to be agreeing with them, ergo having kids is akin to destroying the world and therefore a selfish and heartless endeavor, much better to commit suicide as a species and enjoy our innocuous pleasures in the moment and feel smugly proud of that fact and socially shame anyone who thinks otherwise.  How long will Mother's Day last?  The more important concern is how long will civilization last with such an attitude?

The parable of the lost snake or a novel in-law deterrent

We have a snake, well truthfully it belongs to a young lady who is out of the country for a couple years, but I never thought I'd be a snake owner (or sitter).  But apparently our scaly friend has slithered his way into our hearts because he got out the other day and we were all rather sad about it.  So I looked up snake escapes on google and found one article that has been plagiarized on a hundred different sites and set about trying to locate the beast.  I'm apparently rather fond of the creature, as is my son, and I certainly didn't want to have to explain to his young owner that he had vanished on my watch.  Worse, my in-laws are coming this weekend and they don't like even the idea of a snake in the house, let alone one loose in the basement where the spare bedroom is!  Then I have to find a pet sitter for the snake and his rodent friends while we are gone this summer and how do you tell the pet sitter that you have a snake but you don't?  Awkward!  And then we are in a rental so it isn't even my house should he die in an air duct or get caught in the oven or washing machine: the gruesome (and expensive) possibilities are endless.

One of the suggestions was to sit quietly and watch/listen hoping to find some sign of the creature, but that really doesn't happen at our house, at least until the kids are in bed and by then I need sleep too.  But last night it so happened that everyone went to bed at a decent hour and the house was silent, and this being a nocturnal species, I sat in various dark rooms and listened, though I thought it rather pointless as he could be anywhere in the house or even outside (though it was cold enough to snow) and they are almost silent in their movements.  We had hide boxes and heating pads and water bowls and a few rodents scattered around hoping to lure him out into the open but had seen no trace or hint of him though we had turned many a room inside out and upside down.  Then I heard a thud in the laundry room.  There he was, behind the washing machine, bumping against the drying rack which had made the noise.  I can't quit smiling, silly snake!, but we're very happy he's back where he belongs, though it might have been an interesting way to keep the in-laws out of the house?  Jesus spoke of the lost coin and the lost sheep, but we had the lost snake, I never thought I'd see the day where I missed a snake!

Twinkie Cupcake Disaster Trifle

I knew I shouldn't have tried baking today, what with my little micro-chef grabbing the bowl of greenish goo (that was once vegetables) and unwittingly sending it flying, but it did land right side up so the mess was only half what it might have been so maybe it is okay after all.  I haven't had a Twinkie in years, but for some reason that's what I've been craving lately so I've tried a few recipes that were pretty good, but not really worth the trouble of doing them over again.  I found this one that uses a box mix so I thought I would give it a try, I even managed to have marshmallow creme on hand this time (I tried substituting marshmallows in one recipe and that was a whole other mess).  But the frosting seemed a bit too sugary (2 pounds of powdered sugar for 2 dozen cupcakes?!) for my taste, but I need not have worried, I never got that far!

First I had no yellow cake mix but figured a white one would do.  Then my timer didn't start, rather I reset the clock instead, so they got a little more done than I would like but still edible and I must say the cake was very fluffy and moist and very, very fragile.  I used silicone muffin cups to bake mine in and they were a sad mess by the time I finished getting them out (note to self, cooking spray!).  So I had a pile of the homeliest cupcakes you've ever seen and there is no way the poor things would handle either frosting or filling in that state.  So I did what any self respecting home cook would do in such a circumstance (no I did not eat the evidence, at least not all of it!): I made lemonade (metaphorical lemonade, you know...when life hands you lemons?).  I cut them in half and lined the bottom of a large plastic container (with a lid) with cupcakes, topped them with the filling, and then the other half of the cupcakes.  Atop this, instead of the super-sweet frosting in the recipe, I substituted this one made from boxed pudding and whipped topping (though I only used the four serving box as it was what I had).  I then stuck the whole thing in the fridge and can't wait to try it tonight for supper, I mean after supper...it was wonderful, will definitely make again!  May all your disasters turn out as sweet as mine!