No!!!

Yes, (evil laughter), another Mommy Blog (more evil laughter)!!! Life is a story, mine at the moment just happens to occur mostly at home, which means no sword fights or dragons, but plenty of peril, misadventure, and food. Like all good stories we will skip the boring parts (like laundry). So gird up your loins and let us commence with some real domestic adventures; don't forget your sense of humor.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Strange Heroism of the Intentionally Childless

I'm afraid 'intentionally childless' is going to be the next transgender movement.  I just finished reading an article (theoretically from a Christian perspective no less!) on why this very personal decision is quite justifiable, especially from a Biblical perspective.  There are many reasons to not have kids, don't get me wrong, I've been there, but this article wasn't talking about those of us not in a stable relationship, biologically incapable, carrying a lethal gene, or otherwise in a situation that makes childrearing/bearing difficult, impossible, or downright deadly.  It was talking about a couple in a situation wherein they could reasonably have a kid or six but they just don't want to.  And that's fine, everyone needs to make that decision for themselves, and I'd rather you didn't commit parenthood if you are so viscerally opposed to it, but when the authors of such articles wax long in trying to justify their decision, that's when it really gets weird, and rather embarrassing, especially in trying to get the Bible to back you up.

The pride in their decision, the disdain with which they view all others who might disagree with their choice, and the convoluted arguments made in support of their decision is what really puzzles me.  Make your decision and live with it, you aren't required to change anybody else's mind or gain their approval; you need to live with the consequences, but the decision is yours alone.  Why is there such a need to justify the decision to all and sundry, to get the rousing approval of society at large, unless we all know, deep down, that there is something a little selfish and wrong about it and we're trying to convince others so that in the end we can feel confident in the decision ourselves.  There's also something a little backwards about saying you are trying to save the world by not having kids, which is what the main argument in favor of intentional childlessness boils down to, that or someone just doesn't want to change their life/lifestyle to include the little buggers.  To the latter, all I'll say is have a great time.  To the former, have you truly thought this through?

Huge human population = destruction of the planet.  This is the environmental stewardship argument for childlessness, with the idea that having no kids will somehow shrink the burden on our overly stressed planet.  While on the surface it sounds all nice and green and eco-friendly, when all is said and done, the only thing that will die out is the idea behind it.  The best way to pass on your ideals (like environmental stewardship) is to pass them on to your kids, but since you don't have any, all those planet killers with three or four spawn apiece will multiply and ravage the planet in a few generations.

I'm too important/busy to have kids.  This seemed to be the intent of the article that inspired this post, arguing how most super heroes don't have kids because they are too busy saving the world, a job only they can do.  Reality, however argues otherwise.  Even the President of the US has kids.  Every Einstein and Pasteur in recored history had parents, if not a family too.  You are one of 7 billion people on the planet, whatever you can do, so can someone else, you might even be able to do it and have kids!  And who knows, maybe those kids might one day be important and busy people too!  Nobody is that important or irreplaceable, save perhaps the kids you'll never have.  That's the one thing you can do that nobody else can: create and raise a new and unique individual!

As for the Biblical support for the case, I'm still trying to find any.  I'm sure the apostles might have chosen celibacy rather than to endanger a family on their dangerous missions, but most moderns aren't counted among the 12 or willing to do likewise.  I don't think the ease of modern birth control is a Biblical reason to forgo children.  I can respect a person's choice not to get married or to have a celibate relationship therein if they feel very strongly upon this issue, but to cherry pick a verse here or there or use an obscure story as a general rule to justify your chosen lifestyle is a distortion of scripture and an insult to your listener's intelligence.

Either have kids or don't, but don't count yourself as victim or hero in making that decision.  It is your choice, as are the consequences, but don't twist logic, history, or facts simply to justify your choice.  The only person you need to convince is yourself!

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