No!!!

Yes, (evil laughter), another Mommy Blog (more evil laughter)!!! Life is a story, mine at the moment just happens to occur mostly at home, which means no sword fights or dragons, but plenty of peril, misadventure, and food. Like all good stories we will skip the boring parts (like laundry). So gird up your loins and let us commence with some real domestic adventures; don't forget your sense of humor.

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Honey mustard corn salad!

I can't eat gluten or potatoes, there go half the sides of summer!  I don't like coleslaw and can't eat much lettuce, so there go the rest.  I went to Thanksgiving at someone's house this year and ate the jello salad (and no, it didn't even have carrots in it!) and that was it.  I love potato and pasta salad, I can usually eat the main course (except turkey!) but it is a little awkward and sad not having anything to go with it.  I especially love my honey mustard dressing recipe and only wish there was something I could put it on; I used to make pasta salad with it but those days are long gone (rice noodles do unspeakable things to pasta salad!).  What about corn, I eat corn, is there such a thing as a corn salad?  Who knew!  Apparently there is, though most of the recipes call for grilling your corn cobs before indulging yourself in this uncommon salad, it is currently the middle of the winter and I have a potluck tomorrow: bag of frozen kernel corn, let's see what happens!

Combine in large bowl or ice cream bucket:

1 16oz bag frozen corn, thawed
2 cups cheddar cheese shredded
10 hardboiled eggs diced
1 yellow onion (small) diced
8 oz carrots diced
(feel free to add your own veggies, meat, cheese, nuts, whatever!)

In a small bowl combine:

1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup mustard
1/2 cup whipped salad dressing
season to taste with salt, pepper, celery seed, garlic, parsley (or whatever you like)

Thoroughly mix dressing with salad and chill for 2-3 hours (or overnight) before serving.  You could also use the dressing for a potato or pasta salad or put it in a bottle for sandwiches, etc!  Enjoy!


Thursday, February 20, 2020

Dressing up, down, or sideways?

Why do you dress up?  It was a question for which I didn't have an answer.  Around the house I usually sport a comfy pair of pants but even going to the grocery store I like to wear a skirt or a fun hat, back in my work days I was always in scrubs (socially approved PJs!) or stained and ragged jeans (I was stylish without knowing it), but now I like to feel pretty and feminine and elegant and colorful, what gives?  One day my husband asked if he should preach in jeans, and while I didn't know why, I didn't like the idea.  Then I read this article and happily the author unraveled the mystery of both.  Why dress up a little?  Find out here.

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Even more secrets of the universe (or at least gluten free bread) revealed!

Okay, since my last highly prophetic and revelatory post, I can across this recipe.  I thought batter type breads were behind me, it was where I started, it was okay, but it wasn't bread.  It was better than styrofoam but it wasn't spongy, airy, light, delicate, tasty bread; it was more like cake or a quick bread, just more stiff.  It was too heavy for sandwiches and turned to burnt stone when you toasted it.  But I was happily wrong.  I even gave up yeast loaf bread (I made lots of French loaves) because I would burn the outside and the middle wouldn't cook through.  So we haven't had toast at our house in a LONG time.  Then I tried this recipe, the ingredients were accessible and the pictures beautiful, and the result was as good as the pictures looked!  Whipped egg whites are the secret.  It toasts beautifully, it makes grilled cheese, you can eat two slices with stuff in between without choking, it is even good plain!  And when you bite into it, it has the sound, the texture, everything screams real bread.  And the taste!  Light, delicate, just a hint of sweetness.  It minds me of the long lost honey oat bread I used to adore (though it calls for brown sugar).

You need a kitchen aid mixer or a bread machine for this baby, your hand mixer will burn out.  The first loaf I did exactly as written, save I used corn starch instead of the potato and millet instead of the rice flour.  It turned out beautiful but shrank a bit as it cooled (I did undercook it just a tad and cut it before it was totally cool, I just couldn't wait!) but still was excellent.  The next batch I used 1 1/2 cups tapioca, 1 cup corn starch, and 1/2 cup millet.  I put everything except the egg whites in the bread machine on the dough cycle while I whipped the eggs, then I scraped them into the mess as well, scraping down the sides as the machine kneaded in the whites, and once it was smooth and well mixed, I stopped the machine and put it in the prepared pan.  The second batch didn't rise as high but neither did it shrink as much.  The texture was a little 'sturdier' without being heavy and less 'gelatinous' without losing the elasticity, but I did bake it longer by two minutes as well.  I also slashed the top with a wet knife after the rise, as my first loaf decided to crack at about 2 o'clock and had a weird lopsided look to it.  I think I'll stick with the second recipe as my new standard, but it is wonderful to have real bread again!  I can't wait to try this with my dough recipes, though I wonder if the dough will be too heavy for the egg whites to do much for the texture?  Stay tuned to find out!  

Saturday, February 1, 2020

The secret to life, the universe, and everything...or at least gluten free baking made simple-ish!

I spent almost a year not eating wheat but not replacing it with anything either, except a flirtation with non-wheat pasta, but when my son had to go off wheat too, I decided to try gluten free baking, ugh!  I could be the solemn, uncomplaining martyr of the family (translation: I really didn't want to bother with the expense and mess for one person, especially for lackluster results), but a kid needs cookies and pizza and donuts or he'll die (a proven, scientific fact).  So I started digging, not excited at the prospect though I had been a happy baker in former days, but those days were gone and only styrofoam awaited.  Yes, you probably shudder right along with me, thinking starchy, heavy, stiff, crumbly, dry or overly moist, tasteless, gritty...that's what I knew as gluten free.  Boy was I wrong!  But boy did it seem complicated: what with weighing everything to the nearest hundredth of a gram, 987 types of flour, gums and protein isolates...it looked more like an organic chemistry lab session (double ugh!) than a day in the kitchen!

Every recipe calls for a different commercial flour blend or 8 different specific flours, many of which are hard to find, expensive, and/or I can't eat/don't like.  I'm also a 'dump and bake' sort of baker.  There's a reason I don't quilt and didn't go to pharmacy school.  I'm a surgeon: approximation with living tissue is magic.  I bake like your grandma: a dash of this and a pinch of that, I eyeball my bread in the bread machine and add water/flour as needed.  Could I do that with gluten free?  According to the internet, no!  But I really didn't have a choice: I wasn't going to buy a kitchen scale and measure everything and there was no commercial flour blend I could eat or afford, so I decided to start with something easy like yeast bread and see what happened (that's a joke!).

I found sources for a variety of starches and flours I could eat, liked, and could (relatively) afford.  I also started reading about the 'science' and 'art' behind gluten free baking.  Basically you just need to replace the starch/protein combination that is the magic of gluten.  Then I started playing with it.  I'm an old friend of yeast bread, and didn't know how much I missed it, the eating and making both, until I took my first bite of actual bread that I had made and felt a jolt of mingled excitement and joy I knew only when my husband proposed or we got the call that we had been chosen for a potential adoption placement (okay, maybe there's a little hyperbole there, but it's as close as I can come!).  It was love at first bite (please forgive the old pun).  And yes, Virginia, you can make gluten free bread (or anything else) that doesn't taste like the box it comes in, you don't have to measure to the nearest microgram, and you can do it fairly affordably.

First off, use recipes designed for gluten free baking, don't try converting your old favorites just yet.  This is the time to start finding new favorites, especially easy things like cinnamon rolls (or maybe muffins!).  Second, if you don't like/can't eat things like eggs, xanthin gum, peanut butter, real sugar, vegetable oil, dairy...it becomes more difficult/expensive but not impossible.  I can't eat liquid dairy and have had good results with substituting in that area, but if you are too picky or limited, there just won't be anything left to work with, even stone soup needed a little help!  Third, make a list of the flours/starches you like, can find, can afford.  Ready?  Let's bake something!

Find a recipe that you are excited about with a fairly basic list of ingredients and a methodology that is comfortable for you (don't start with cinnamon rolls if you've never made wheat cinnamon rolls, try pancakes or cookies!).  There will be a few differences in methodology to traditional baking, at this point follow the recipe as closely as possible, you can tweak once you get used to the new normal.  If the recipe calls for a commercial flour blend and you can find/eat/afford that blend, great, go for it, why are you still here?  But if you can't or it calls for a combo of flours you can't find/don't like/can't eat, this is where the simplicity comes in, so don't panic.  How much flour/starch does it call for total?  Now for a little math (at least we ditched the chemistry, so don't groan!).

Let's say it calls for 3 cups of flour/starch.  Get out your preferred flours/starches and let's get busy.  Just a note here, just because it says flour or starch doesn't make it one or the other.  A starch is something like corn starch or tapioca starch/flour: a fine whitish powder with no protein, fiber, taste, or nutritive value save carbohydrates; it is usually just the starchy portion ground up.  A flour is something more gritty, usually contains some protein and fiber, and may have a flavor; it is usually the whole nut/seed/grain ground up.

For starches you can try: potato starch, tapioca flour/starch, corn starch, white rice flour, for starters.

For flours you can try: millet, potato flour, oat flour (oatmeal run through the blender or food processor), brown rice flour.  Quinoa can have a bitter taste, almond flour is expensive, the bean flours might add a strange flavor, but feel free to play around!  There are a hundred others to try too, but the ones I have listed are fairly mild flavored, inexpensive, and widely available.

Personally I can't eat potato and don't like the taste of beans, I can't afford the almond flour, and too much rice flour/starch leaves a gritty texture so I only use it sparingly.  I use tapioca, corn starch, oat flour, and millet for the most part and have had excellent results: I can find them easily, I like the taste, I can eat them, and I can afford them.  Find what works for you too!

Now back to our recipe: 3 cups of flour/starch.  I've found good results (for everything from yeast breads to pancakes to cake and cookies) with 1/3 flour combination and 2/3 starch combo.  At my house it would be 1 cup tapioca and 1 cup corn starch (for a total of 2 cups starch), 1/2 cup millet and 1/2 cup oat flour (for a total of 1 cup flour).  This seems to be a good ratio for many recipes to replace a custom or commercial flour blend.  Let's say the recipe calls for 1 3/4 cups of flours/starches.  I'd do 1/2 cup starch A, 1/2 cup starch B, 1/4 cup each of flours A and B and then the last 1/4 of starch A or B.  When in doubt, add more starch and less flour!

You also need xanthin gum for most recipes or it will just fall apart, there are other options out there but the results might not be as good if can't use it/don't like it.  If the recipe calls for a flour blend that already has it in it, add about 1 tsp per 3 cups of flour for a quick bread/cake recipe and 2 tsp per 3 cups flour for a yeast bread recipe.  If not, just follow the recipe.

If you are making a yeast bread you need protein, some recipes call for whey protein isolate but I can't eat that so I substitute 2 egg whites per 3 cups of flour/starch.  You could try pea protein etc, but watch out for the flavor!  If adding extra liquid, you'll have to adjust the amount of water/milk added accordingly.

Mix all your dry ingredients in a bowl with a wire whisk (including instant or bread machine yeast).  Then add your liquid ingredients.  For quick breads/cakes/batter type recipes a little extra liquid isn't a huge deal, but for actual dough recipes that you will be working with and shaping, be cautious, a little extra liquid can mean a huge sticky mess, even if you are following the recipe exactly.  Add your eggs, oil, butter, sourdough starter, etc. and then begin mixing in your mixer/bread machine, scraping the sides, and after a minute or two, if it is still dry and crumbly, begin adding your water/milk a little bit at a time, no matter how much liquid the original recipe calls for, it can vary significantly!  For yeast bread doughs you want it a little on the dry side at first, it should form a ball/blob and not stick to stuff, and as it mixes, it will relax and get stickier and more stretchy, but it should still form a slightly sticky blob.  Add a little starch or liquid as needed until it gets to the right consistency.  For quick bread or batter type recipes, usually just stirring by hand until well combined will suffice but most yeast breads need a good beating in the mixer/bread machine to acquire the right consistency.  You could try it by hand but it will be a sticky mess and requires a lot of arm-power.  Also use a heavy mixer or the bread machine, a little hand held mixer will burn out quickly.

Also for yeast breads, overnight in the refrigerator does wonders (up to 5 days for egg containing recipes) for flavor, texture, rising, handling, and consistency; an ice cream bucket works great.  I like to add a sourdough starter as well (again, deduct from total liquid!).  Make sure you proof the dough first (let it rise to double) before refrigerating (I preheat the oven for 5 minutes and then turn it off).  Working the dough cold is also recommended, it should be a little sticky/wet when placed in the fridge and will 'dry' out overnight, add a little water or starch if necessary to work it, a little sticky is better than crumbly!  Take a handful at a time and work it until smooth then roll and shape as desired.  Smaller/thinner loaves/buns bake better than large/thick/squat shapes.  Slashing the top helps with rising.  Cover with plastic wrap to maintain moisture and brush with butter before baking to keep it soft.  Structure helps with the rise: think rolling a French loaf or pushing the outer edge of a bun into the middle and up inside.  You won't get as much of a rise or stretch gluten free, but you can still get nice results.  The freezer is also your friend, freeze anything you won't eat immediately while it's warm and warm in the microwave for a few seconds before eating (gluten free or any bread should be eaten warm!).

Mostly just find what works for you and experiment and have fun!  You can bake again, even after wheat is no longer a part of your life.  My family now eats like it used to and even my picky, gluten loving husband likes the gluten free stuff and I can bake again, yay!