Criscuits anyone? A Gluten free cross between a croissant and a buttermilk biscuit

 I hate words like 'ginormous' which takes two perfectly sound words that mean the same thing to make a ridiculous word that doesn't improve the dialect by a wit.  But I don't know what to call this culinary concoction, I saw something on Pinterest about a 'cruffin' so why not a criscuit?  I've been playing with a gluten-free croissant recipe lately and this was my third attempt, the first time I left out 1/4 cup flour by bad math but they turned out delicious if ugly.  The second time I did everything as directed and came up with something edible but starchy, grainy, and dry, the first attempt was far superior, than the 'typical' gluten free baked good I ended up with.  I was also craving a nice, flakey buttermilk biscuit and wondering if this recipe could be adapted to both suit that purpose and make rolling out the dough a little less disastrous.  Today I think I found just the thing!  I wanted a batter style dough, think thick cake batter, but which is difficult to layer butter in and roll into the proper shape, but this worked out okay.  The result was flaky and golden brown and not hideous at all and totally wonderful, even the gluten-loving husband thought they were good (high praise!).  I used vegetable shortening since I can't have butter and margarine won't work for a proper croissant, but butter or lard should work, I think coconut oil might suffer the same problems as margarine (too soft at room temp) but feel free to try.

2 1/4 cup gluten free flour (I used 3/4 cup tapioca, 3/4 cup corn starch, and 1/4 cup each millet, brown rice, and oat flour)

1.5 tsp xanthin gum

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 tsp salt

2 tbsp shortening and 1/4 cup oil

2 eggs

1/2 cup water (can use milk)

1 tsp instant yeast

Mix everything in a sturdy mixer or bread machine until well blended, cover and allow to rise for 45 minutes in a warm moist place.  Spread on a piece of plastic wrap or a silicon baking mat into a layer about 1/4 inch thick.  Combine 1/2 cup shortening with 1/3 cup gluten free flour mix (1/2 flour and 1/2 starch) and spread on 2/3 of the dough, leaving the top 1/3 empty.  Fold the empty layer over the middle section and top with the bottom (like folding croissants), sealing the seem and end.  Cover and place in the fridge for 4 hours or the freezer for an hour.  Using your fingers and the plastic wrap, spread the lump of dough out until it is about an inch thick, divide into 12 sections with a silicon spatula.  Shape each section into a bun shape with wet hands and place on a greased baking sheet.  Place in a 385 degree oven until golden brown and cool covered on a wire rack.  Enjoy!

Already but not yet and a theology of bread?

 Since swearing off wheat, I thought cinnamon rolls were the ultimate challenge for gluten free baking, little realizing that it is probably croissants (especially when one cannot eat butter as well).  I've made wheat croissants a time or two but decided they were too putzy for the result, they were good, but eight hours of cooling/folding/repeat was a little ridiculous.  So I tossed them in the bin of things no longer to be enjoyed (alongside cheesy, gooey pizza).  I finally bought some shortening on sale, never having worked with the stuff (and being warned my whole life that just looking at it will kill you) I never really thought about it in light of croissants, mostly I just wanted a real chocolate chip cookie, which I did finally make with the stuff.  But if it works for cookies, why not croissants?  Before you lecture me on the health disasters awaiting me, let me say my liver, thanks to a genetic variation, is already bound and determined to produce cholesterol at twice the normal level and diet and exercise can't even touch it and only lethal doses of statins even make a dent in my numbers, so if I'm going to die of hereditary hypercholesterolemia or statin toxicity anyway, I can do it while gnoshing croissants!

There are dozens of recipes and websites out there offering gluten free recipe ideas that are 'just like real bread.'  I chose this one because it seemed fairly simple, had no weird ingredients I can't afford or tolerate (whey protein) and gave it a go.  The results were interesting (as most gluten free recipes are!).  At first it was more reminiscent of one of those 'crescent rolls' that pretend to be croissants.  Then it was sort of big, flaky biscuity.  But there was something of the real croissant in it as well.  It was like biting into 'real' bread again for the first time or making gluten free chocolate chip cookies that didn't run all over the pan and turn into a gooey mess, it was bread but it wasn't, there was something reminiscent and wonderful in the sensation, but it wasn't quite the original experience.  I did eat three of them, which is something that usually happens with real croissants, so that is something to consider.  It was 'already but not yet.'  Or perhaps 'again but not quite?'

In Christian theology there is a concept of 'already but not yet,' pertaining to many of the Old Testament prophecies and the promises of God, wherein some things have already come to pass, we can enjoy them now, but not everything has been fulfilled, like getting to open one gift the day before Christmas but having to wait for the rest until Christmas morning, we've had a taste of things to come but they are far from complete.  My fake croissants are sort of that way, croissants but not croissants, bread but not bread, a taste, a hint, a hope, but not yet.  Now if only there was a melty, gooey cheese-like experience!  I guess I'll just have to wait.

Whose vacation?

 I just read a book called 'Busman's Honeymoon,' and not being a native Brit, cognizant of the parlance of the 1930s, I adjourned to google for a definition of the phrase, 'Busman's Holiday,' which is an ingenious little phrase describing doing what you do for a living on your vacation (the bus driver goes on a bus tour!).  I love the British take on the English language, contributions like 'ginormous' are distinctly American, ugh!  In the novel, a pair of newly married amateur detectives discover a body in the basement of their new house, and story proceeds as usual.  I was minded of our recent 'vacation.'  As a mostly stay-at-home mom, I've noticed most people, including myself, don't think homemakers ever need time off.  While my husband got away from the office and pulpit for a few days and the kids got a break from school, I was still cooking, cleaning, organizing, packing, putting away, scheduling...except I get the added treat of doing it away from home while making sure everything at home and our church doesn't disintegrate in our absence.  I need a vacation to recover from my 'vacation!'

I'm not complaining, I love my family, our home, our congregation, and my ability to work part time in my profession, but the idea that I come home from a family vacation 'refreshed and relaxed' just isn't true, if anything, I'm completely useless for a week afterwards, able to do only the bare minimum required for family survival and not a hair more.  Then there's the dreaded 'conferences,' be they church or professional, in which I need to make arrangements for the feeding and sustenance of those left behind while I travel to an undisclosed location for 'personal improvement,' which in itself is exhausting, only to return and clean up the disaster that is my home life after a two day absence and pick up where I left off in our weekly schedule.  Who finds a women's retreat refreshing?  I won't mention the times my husband has wondered if we could go as a family to a professional conference and do some sightseeing between my 20 hours of CE crammed into three days, help!

I think I remember these things being far easier in college and as a young adult, maybe I had more energy and fewer responsibilities back then or maybe I was just young and stupid and didn't notice I was tired or maybe I look back with flawed vision to 'the good old days?'  Whatever the reason, my idea of a vacation is to stay blissfully at home, eating a boxed pizza, the kids in bed, and a good movie distracting both parents from the mundanities of life and ministry for a few lovely hours.  Life was so much simpler when I could cram it all in a backpack and speed off into the sunset for a long weekend, sleeping on someone's couch, and return to my studies on Monday no worse for wear.  But life was also less full, more lonely, with no meaning save the vague and foggy hope that the future might yield purpose and direction.  I don't think I'd go back if I could, it might be easier back then, but life now is deeper, and though exhausting, more joyful.