Neither flesh nor fowl nor good red herring!

I had come to think finding a decent replacement for dairy cheese was like lassoing a unicorn, I need something that melts, shreds, stretches and browns but my homemade stuff and store bought stuff just isn't cheesish, it is more like sodden tapioca starch morosely littering the top of my would-be pizza and highly unappetizing.  Then I found the secret ingredient: kappa carrageenan, a seaweed derivative that stretches, melts, and shreds no matter what you do to it.  And yes, it will kill you, at least according to a few terrified commentators, but then so will everything else if you read enough food blogs, yet these same people then complain that everything tastes like rocks and it is nothing like a cookie, but a cookie needs fat and sugar and grain to be, well, a cookie.  But making fake cheese is much easier than turning a zucchini into a delectable baked good, come to think of it, catching a unicorn might be easier as well!  So read up on the dangers of this strange ingredient and decide for yourself, but as far as I can tell, everything else you might replace it with is a poor second, you may get a block of something, but it doesn't melt, stretch, or brown, and is in nowise 'cheesish.'  

I actually made 10 batches of 'cheese' yesterday, and you really can't screw it up.  I found recipes using cashews as a base, tofu, and one with straight almond milk.  I used cashews and oats and tried the straight almond milk one.  I varied lemon juice and white vinegar and no acid.  I used vegetable shortening instead of coconut oil and wonder if lard might be a good choice to get a firmer 'cheese?'  I used both water and almond milk.  I even fermented one batch of oats overnight (like a sourdough starter).  And the result?  They all taste about the same and melt and shred and stretch.  Most recipes out there have you pouring boiling water in your blender, which is about as much fun as it sounds, rather mix everything (room temp water!) in your high speed blender (a ninja or bullet work great for small batches like mine!) and then transfer to a sauce pan and heat at medium, stirring constantly until the thing rolls around in a squishy ball before pouring into a bowl to set.  I want it to brown a little more, and according to google, browning in cheese is a reaction between the protein and the sugar, I wonder if I added some protein powder and a little sugar if it would help?  I made cheese sticks with the stuff and a pizza, even my skeptical husband enjoyed the 'cheese' sticks.  I still have work to do to perfect the recipe but it is very versatile and very close to real cheese, at least the closest you can get without real milk!