The title of this article is stolen from a collection of essays from G.K. Chesterton, which is quoted in this intriguing article which is what this writing is all about, and I highly recommend both, Chesterton's writings can be found for free on project Gutenberg, think of him as a comic, Catholic C.S. Lewis. Now back to the topic at hand, assuming you have read your homework? If you haven't, here's a recap: covid forced many women out of the workforce back into the role of primary care providers of their own children and then it jumps from there to discuss the barrenness of the modern home from society, productivity, and purpose: just a place to eat and sleep and no wonder stay at home moms are bored! It's a phenomenon I've noticed personally and was delighted to find a thoughtful look at the problem with some potential solutions thereto.
I'm an expert in this topic by the way: professional woman forced out of the workforce by health issues and trying to make a new life without a full time career. And strangely, that was the best day of my life when I lost my job, my apartment, and every measure of success in my former life (though I certainly didn't appreciate it at the time!). I finally found what I had always been looking for: a life, a home, a family, peace and joy and hope. Prior to that I grew up chasing success thinking it might induce my parents to love me (nope!) and then was left chasing it as a means to my own survival. I got married at some point but had so much school debt to pay off that I had to work 60 hours weeks just to maintain our scant lifestyle. We worked and slept in our apartment but that was about it. When our son was one my health was at a crisis point, as was my job, thankfully the job gave out first and we moved in with the in-laws for a bit, moved to another state, and reversed roles: my husband was now the professional and I was the caregiver to our son.
But instead of a miserable little apartment with no natural light and no outdoor space (and very little indoor) that I only saw briefly for meals and sleep, I had a house, yard, and garden to care for and enjoy. I also had a congregation and community to encourage and assist as needed (everything from toilet repair to emergency babysitting and organizing meals for 50+ to website maintenance). I worked a few hours in my original profession and developed all sorts of interests and hobbies (particularly writing). I finally had leisure to learn who I was and wasn't and start the healing process from past abuse and neglect. We were actually making less money but as individuals and a family we are far more content. During all this, many well meaning friend and relations and most strangers were appalled that I could be content at home while possessed of a doctorate. I was confused, when I was a kid, it was considered a negative necessity to be stuck in daycare (like I was) but now your kids are deprived if they aren't?! I'm supposed to work full time so I can afford to pay someone else to watch my kids? I hated daycare. I really like my kids. Give up being the CEO of my own home and family to be a mere cog in someone else's wheel?
From my empty years as an unloved child and the blur that was my indentured servitude (working 7 years to pay off my school debt whilst living on next to nothing) I can understand many women's frustration or horror at being stuck at home. There is literally nothing to do in an urban setting when the home has been emptied of all the people, productivities, purpose, fun, and meaning it once had as the center of industry and society. You can only walk around Target so many hours a week before becoming suicidal! And if your kids are more used to school and daycare where there can be little individual discipline, no wonder they are not companions one would like to spend an hour, let alone a week, with! But if we can find a way to reinvest our homes with community and service and productivity and leisure and society and purpose, we would no longer dread spending the majority of our hours there. Who can you invite over for a meal or a lifetime? How can you help others? How can you improve your leisure hours without the help of a screen? What interests and activities can you do as a family? How can you give your living space a heart transplant?
We spend our whole lives looking for it, it is called Home, the revolution must start in our hearts and work its way out into our wider lives.
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