Listen to the mustn'ts?

 Shel Silverstein penned a little poem that went, 'Listen to the mustn'ts child, listen to the don'ts, listen to the shouldn'ts the impossibles, the won'ts,' and then it goes on to say, "anything can happen, child anything can be!"  While there are obviously restrictions to 'anything,' such as walking to Mars or flying by flapping your arms, in general he makes an excellent point, especially if you go online looking for information about any particular sort of health topic or lifestyle or diet.  My biggest advice to new moms is disconnect your internet, as it will only make you crazy or neurotic!

I'm already on a very restricted diet, have limited energy, and sometimes just feel downright lousy, and now I have a fully body attack of eczema: itchy!  So I hope on google to figure out what is going on and how to stop it...bad idea!  Every article says something different, especially if they are selling supplements or coaching expertise.  From what I could gather, you basically can't eat anything but kale and salmon for the rest of your life and you are a terrible person for eating anything non-organic, gmo, grains, sweeteners (real or artificial), any fat but olive oil or coconut, dairy, most fruit...or pretty much anything except kale since salmon is obviously not vegan so you can't eat that either?  I was actually losing weight earlier this year because I just didn't want to eat, couldn't make myself eat, couldn't get enough calories because of my dietary restrictions.  And I can't even eat kale because it ranks right up there with wheat on my food sensitivity list, what do I eat, rocks?

I need to cut back on the sugar, that's probably what triggered this eczema flare-up, but I'm not sure I can cut it completely out of my diet as I have so much other stuff, there is literally nothing left!  The whole thing made me rather depressed and nigh on despair, I know I can't live like that, but the pictures of all these scrawny smiling women and their patented gut repair systems just might guilt me into it.  You can't just make broad and sweeping claims about diet and gut issues, inflammatory disease and food sensitivity, everybody's issues are different.  Saying dairy and wheat (or whatever) are toxins that nobody should eat and the main problem doesn't help anybody.  Individuals need help, not a list of nos they can't live with, otherwise they'll just give up before they begin or sink into even worse eating habits.  And what about the stuff that's okay on one site but anathema on another?  What about those of us who can't eat kale or any source of carbs but oats?  Where can you find some of this stuff if you don't live in a posh urban area that caters to the vegan keto crowd?  How can the average Joe afford it?  Why the guilt and condescension to someone who is ill and looking for answers?  Just buy my system/supplement and your problems are over, except a dozen other people say the same thing with different stuff, who is right?

Ignore the self-proclaimed experts.  Find community and support.  Find a doctor that will listen and work with you.  Do what works for you, no matter how many internet gurus say it will kill you!  Consider your quality of life, can you and will you eat something every day for the rest of your life?  If you can't stand kale, don't be guilted into eating it.  Also make changes gradually, pick one monster and attack that before going after the whole ravening hoard.  Allow yourself to grieve, it is okay to feel sad that you can't eat cheese.  Find alternatives that work for you and you actually enjoy.  Learn to cook and shop based on your dietary needs, personal tastes, and budget: learn to enjoy the hunt, the joy of a new culinary skill or recipe, instead of focusing so much on diet, focus on the process.  Be careful with supplements, they can have side effects and weird interactions with one another, some may help but some may also cause problems.  Take it slow, give yourself time to learn new skills, grieve, to adjust to new things.  Most of all, stay hopeful, remind yourself of the small victories, surround yourself with supportive people, and remember it is a journey not a destination.  And you don't have to drink a salmon and kale smoothie to get there!