Wednesday, January 29, 2014
The Second Law of Thermodynamics and its relationship to domestic life incorporating juvenile offspring less than three years of age.
Many have heard of Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong, will. But I have met a few who claim that MacDonald's Law is a better rule to live by, namely: Murphy was an optimist. Whether you see either of these dictums as true or laugh at them both as silly nonsense, I know for a fact that toddlers are the physical force responsible for some, if not all of the chaos that results. If you do not believe in either rule, you have never spent time with a small child. They are also employed by more scientifically accepted Rules like (my personal favorite) the Second Law of Thermodynamics which states that, 'the entropy (or chaos) in the Universe is always increasing.' Want to see physics in action? Simply take any room, clean and arrange it to your heart's content, and then turn a small child loose for five minutes. Voila! Entropy in action! Forget the old yarn about an apple hitting Newton on the head, rather imagine one poor episode of babysitting and what it must have done for the field of Physics! Yes, this is completely ridiculous, but it is still fun. At least I know how to compose a decent scientific article title, maybe someone should write a thesis on it. They've written one on just about everything else...
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Borne in vain
I stood there staring at the test, it was negative. I was 95% sure of my diagnosis yet the test said otherwise. Was I crazy? Or suffering from some strange disease? Was the test wrong? Dogs can have a pseudopregnancy but I had never heard of the condition in humans, unless you count the strange symptoms some men have when their wives are expecting (a sympathetic pregnancy), but my husband isn't pregnant. And for that matter, neither was I. That sent me into the dangerous wilds of internet health research (every medical text I own does not cover the human species). I wasn't crazy nor suffering a new type of flu or inventing my symptoms, instead my hormones are going nuts as my body tries to readjust itself to life without birth control. Yes this is too much information, but I hope it might be useful to others experiencing the same thing. It is strange how widely used these drugs are yet no one talks about the possible effects once you come off them. Some women actually experience symptoms similar to those of early pregnancy (morning sickness, yay!). I don't mind being miserable for a few months for the sake of my children, but it is no fun at all when it is only hormonal fireworks. So if you have quit the pill in the last few months and are now tired, nauseous, bloated, moody, etc., with a late or missing period, it may be the missing birth control rather than early pregnancy (it still might be an early pregnancy though so make sure to take care of yourself and your child just in case). I can find information on the side effects of the drug itself but there is scarcely anything out there on what happens when you discontinue the drug, you have to do a very specific search to find it. It had never even occurred to me that that might be the cause of my discomfort until the test made me worry about my sanity! The sanity is still questionable but my physical condition is now understandable. Purportedly things eventually settle down but the symptoms can last for a few months.
Monday, January 20, 2014
When it is wise to be silent
There is an amusing verse in Job that I was reminded of recently and I just had to go hunting for it. If you have read the story, you know it concerns a wealthy and righteous man who loses everything (health, family, wealth) but cannot fathom why. His friends come along and basically accuse him of some secret sin that has caused God's wrath to fall upon him as a just punishment and that if he would only repent, he would then be prosperous once more. Job is so completely frustrated with his friends' pathetic attempt to help him that he says, "oh, that you would keep silent, for you it would be wisdom (Job 13:5 ESV)." I ran across another amusingly sarcastic response in looking for this verse (I can never remember it when I need it) in which Job says, "doubtless you are the only people that matter and wisdom will die with you (Job 12:2 NIV)!" I would like to try one of these responses on occasion (but can only remember them long afterwards and am not snarky enough to say it to their face) when people say something either without thinking or in thinking they know what is best when they have no idea what is going on (a classic 'Job's Counselor' as it were).
The occasion that prompted my recent search involved a gentlemen seated at the same table as my husband and I at a dinner gathering for a sectional event. We were all strangers and were exchanging the usual pleasantries when the man discovered I have too much education to be wasting my time at home raising kids. I was rather irked by his comments, as if I were the first person on the planet to 'waste' my education or rather not be using it every minute of my existence. As if the skills and knowledge I have gained suddenly vanish the minute I stop calling myself a professional and start answering to 'mommy.' Yes, my skills will atrophy if I do not put them to use on occasion and my knowledge will age if I do not keep up with the latest changes in the profession, but I plan to do both during my 'exile' and eventually going back to work full time will hopefully be an option. How many people have a degree in something other than their current profession? Many! How many get a degree and their circumstances change forcing them to use other skills than a BA in History? Can I be nothing but the letters behind my name? Is it a waste of time to spend the formative years with your children rather than farm them out to a third party that could care less about their feelings, personalities, and development? I know he said it in ignorance but it still really irked me, especially as it seemed that even with all that education I was not wise enough to decide what is best for me and mine! If I cannot figure that out, I better not be practicing medicine!
But then, my mother feels exactly the same way. Perhaps that is why it annoyed me so much. My mother has consistently criticized all of my decisions pertaining to marriage, family, and career even though I am very happy with my domestic/career situation whereas she has followed her own advice and is, I think rather lonely and miserable. It hurts to never have her approval on anything and then to hear it from a stranger besides! So take heed from Job and and his friends, be cautious in giving people advice about their lives/problems unless they specifically ask for it. Job's friends did a wonderful job sitting with him, comforting him, mourning with him, until they went and opened their mouths and ruined everything. Our modern idea is to 'fix' everything immediately, after all there must be an app for it or the answer can be found by googling it. Rather, what we need is someone to listen, to offer a comforting presence, and not give solutions or judgements unless asked their opinion on the matter. There is often wisdom in silence.
The occasion that prompted my recent search involved a gentlemen seated at the same table as my husband and I at a dinner gathering for a sectional event. We were all strangers and were exchanging the usual pleasantries when the man discovered I have too much education to be wasting my time at home raising kids. I was rather irked by his comments, as if I were the first person on the planet to 'waste' my education or rather not be using it every minute of my existence. As if the skills and knowledge I have gained suddenly vanish the minute I stop calling myself a professional and start answering to 'mommy.' Yes, my skills will atrophy if I do not put them to use on occasion and my knowledge will age if I do not keep up with the latest changes in the profession, but I plan to do both during my 'exile' and eventually going back to work full time will hopefully be an option. How many people have a degree in something other than their current profession? Many! How many get a degree and their circumstances change forcing them to use other skills than a BA in History? Can I be nothing but the letters behind my name? Is it a waste of time to spend the formative years with your children rather than farm them out to a third party that could care less about their feelings, personalities, and development? I know he said it in ignorance but it still really irked me, especially as it seemed that even with all that education I was not wise enough to decide what is best for me and mine! If I cannot figure that out, I better not be practicing medicine!
But then, my mother feels exactly the same way. Perhaps that is why it annoyed me so much. My mother has consistently criticized all of my decisions pertaining to marriage, family, and career even though I am very happy with my domestic/career situation whereas she has followed her own advice and is, I think rather lonely and miserable. It hurts to never have her approval on anything and then to hear it from a stranger besides! So take heed from Job and and his friends, be cautious in giving people advice about their lives/problems unless they specifically ask for it. Job's friends did a wonderful job sitting with him, comforting him, mourning with him, until they went and opened their mouths and ruined everything. Our modern idea is to 'fix' everything immediately, after all there must be an app for it or the answer can be found by googling it. Rather, what we need is someone to listen, to offer a comforting presence, and not give solutions or judgements unless asked their opinion on the matter. There is often wisdom in silence.
Monday, January 13, 2014
A chasing after the wind?
Dear non-readership,
Today I decided to peruse what the all-knowing google had to say about working professionals who left the workplace to enter the mommy-sphere, interestingly it had much to say by once professional women who, though they could not deny that their home years were worthwhile, they must bemoan the fact that their careers had either atrophied completely or had been reduced to something of a pre-feminist state. Many were divorced, middle-aged, unfulfilled, and bitter about what the years and their seemingly selfless choices had wrought. While I am new to the 'professional becomes professional mom' scene, the tone of many of these articles struck me as strange. I am not so sure the problem is stay-at-home moms that lose their edge in the workplace but rather a problem common to humanity since the advent of thought and convenience, at least since we had the luxury of doing something besides trying to simply survive. Much of the pain these women seem to share is their loss of identity and a lack of feeling valuable. But more on this later.
First, I wonder if I am a good judge of this phenomenon, while it is true that I have a doctorate and have worked for many years in a professional medical field as the main income earner in the family, am I one to judge someone who has surrendered a more lucrative and glamorous field than my own? Most of the prestigious ladies whom these articles portray are involved in finance, business, or law. They wear suits, makeup, and high heels; they have a sense of dignity and power impossible in my chosen profession as my patients outweigh me ten to one. I wear boots and coveralls and usually accent it with more than a little manure. These women must give up fashion and cleanliness for sweatpants, spit up, diaper explosions, and boogers which are actually probably less disgusting than my average day at the office. I loved my job, but I was not my job. It really annoyed me when all people wanted to talk about was what I did for a living, rather than who I was as a person. Perhaps this is where the conflict arises: these women found their identity in their jobs; work was who they were and then they tried to transfer this same mentality to their home life and still came away feeling disenchanted.
Of course these feelings are not specific to stay at home moms but have been found in nearly every human heart since the advent of dissatisfaction. Ever heard of a mid-life crisis? We are seeing an epidemic of depression in Western societies and I doubt it has much to do with trading in the brief case for a diaper bag. The problem is that we look inside ourselves for value and meaning, and finding nothing within, we try and find it in other things be it job, kid, romance, hobbies, sports, etc. These women, I think, would be as dissatisfied with life even had they remained in the workforce or had joined the ranks of the aging career women who had given up hearth and home for 'success,' only to find it cold, lonely, and fickle. The answer is not more family friendly careers, a new love interest, more or less kids, more money, a better house or car, more or less feminism, a better degree, a new job, or anything else 'under the sun.'
Our problem is that we are human. Short of changing species (note the popularity of wizards, werewolves, vampires, etc. in recent literature and film), we are stuck with dealing with our humanity. As human people, we long for meaning, for purpose, for significance and we have the inborn propensity to look for it in all the wrong places. It cannot be found in other people, in animals, in hobbies, in work, in power, in experiences, or possessions. We want to be immortal beings with purpose and direction but are stymied by our mortal bodies (ever see a commercial for a drug, supplement, therapy, moisturizer, or lifestyle to combat aging?) and fickle minds. Why are we not content like dogs to live our day and die without regret? Why do we strive after something more only to fall short and live in bitterness and regret or despair? These ponderings have wracked the heart of every mortal man. What is the purpose of life? Is there even a point? And no, the answer is not 42 (sorry geek sidetrack).
There is an old thesis, written thousands (yes thousands) of years ago that wrestles with these very sentiments. It was not written by a stay at home mom but rather by a man (yes, the author is undoubtedly male but still human as far as we can tell), a man who had everything his heart desired and more, yet he was still not satisfied. He had tried women, drugs, wealth, power, and wisdom, all to no avail. The world is not enough, will never be enough. Our value must come from without, not within, it must be given not taken. We can never do enough to make ourselves significant in the unseeing eyes of an indifferent universe. Despair not, for there is an answer to the riddle; peace for the discontented soul. For eternity is rooted in the hearts of men though their bodies slog through the mires of time. If we learn to see things from an eternal perspective, we can escape the transience and pointlessness of our meager existences and work for something that truly matters.
Our despairing ancient found it in simple faith, faith that man did not make himself nor was he alone in the cosmos. Rather that God had wrought man in His own image, had given him meaning and purpose and a destiny and only therein can we be content and find out what life really is all about. For there is no sense striving after things that do not last forever. Curious? Go read the book of Ecclesiastes found in the Old Testament of the Bible and read the timeless words for yourself. Even more curious? The ancient proposes an answer but gives little idea as to the finding thereof, but the story is far from over. The book of John in the New Testament is your next reading assignment if you have made it this far. There is an answer if we are willing to look for it. No amount of personal or professional success will fill that hole in your life, but there is something that will.
Today I decided to peruse what the all-knowing google had to say about working professionals who left the workplace to enter the mommy-sphere, interestingly it had much to say by once professional women who, though they could not deny that their home years were worthwhile, they must bemoan the fact that their careers had either atrophied completely or had been reduced to something of a pre-feminist state. Many were divorced, middle-aged, unfulfilled, and bitter about what the years and their seemingly selfless choices had wrought. While I am new to the 'professional becomes professional mom' scene, the tone of many of these articles struck me as strange. I am not so sure the problem is stay-at-home moms that lose their edge in the workplace but rather a problem common to humanity since the advent of thought and convenience, at least since we had the luxury of doing something besides trying to simply survive. Much of the pain these women seem to share is their loss of identity and a lack of feeling valuable. But more on this later.
First, I wonder if I am a good judge of this phenomenon, while it is true that I have a doctorate and have worked for many years in a professional medical field as the main income earner in the family, am I one to judge someone who has surrendered a more lucrative and glamorous field than my own? Most of the prestigious ladies whom these articles portray are involved in finance, business, or law. They wear suits, makeup, and high heels; they have a sense of dignity and power impossible in my chosen profession as my patients outweigh me ten to one. I wear boots and coveralls and usually accent it with more than a little manure. These women must give up fashion and cleanliness for sweatpants, spit up, diaper explosions, and boogers which are actually probably less disgusting than my average day at the office. I loved my job, but I was not my job. It really annoyed me when all people wanted to talk about was what I did for a living, rather than who I was as a person. Perhaps this is where the conflict arises: these women found their identity in their jobs; work was who they were and then they tried to transfer this same mentality to their home life and still came away feeling disenchanted.
Of course these feelings are not specific to stay at home moms but have been found in nearly every human heart since the advent of dissatisfaction. Ever heard of a mid-life crisis? We are seeing an epidemic of depression in Western societies and I doubt it has much to do with trading in the brief case for a diaper bag. The problem is that we look inside ourselves for value and meaning, and finding nothing within, we try and find it in other things be it job, kid, romance, hobbies, sports, etc. These women, I think, would be as dissatisfied with life even had they remained in the workforce or had joined the ranks of the aging career women who had given up hearth and home for 'success,' only to find it cold, lonely, and fickle. The answer is not more family friendly careers, a new love interest, more or less kids, more money, a better house or car, more or less feminism, a better degree, a new job, or anything else 'under the sun.'
Our problem is that we are human. Short of changing species (note the popularity of wizards, werewolves, vampires, etc. in recent literature and film), we are stuck with dealing with our humanity. As human people, we long for meaning, for purpose, for significance and we have the inborn propensity to look for it in all the wrong places. It cannot be found in other people, in animals, in hobbies, in work, in power, in experiences, or possessions. We want to be immortal beings with purpose and direction but are stymied by our mortal bodies (ever see a commercial for a drug, supplement, therapy, moisturizer, or lifestyle to combat aging?) and fickle minds. Why are we not content like dogs to live our day and die without regret? Why do we strive after something more only to fall short and live in bitterness and regret or despair? These ponderings have wracked the heart of every mortal man. What is the purpose of life? Is there even a point? And no, the answer is not 42 (sorry geek sidetrack).
There is an old thesis, written thousands (yes thousands) of years ago that wrestles with these very sentiments. It was not written by a stay at home mom but rather by a man (yes, the author is undoubtedly male but still human as far as we can tell), a man who had everything his heart desired and more, yet he was still not satisfied. He had tried women, drugs, wealth, power, and wisdom, all to no avail. The world is not enough, will never be enough. Our value must come from without, not within, it must be given not taken. We can never do enough to make ourselves significant in the unseeing eyes of an indifferent universe. Despair not, for there is an answer to the riddle; peace for the discontented soul. For eternity is rooted in the hearts of men though their bodies slog through the mires of time. If we learn to see things from an eternal perspective, we can escape the transience and pointlessness of our meager existences and work for something that truly matters.
Our despairing ancient found it in simple faith, faith that man did not make himself nor was he alone in the cosmos. Rather that God had wrought man in His own image, had given him meaning and purpose and a destiny and only therein can we be content and find out what life really is all about. For there is no sense striving after things that do not last forever. Curious? Go read the book of Ecclesiastes found in the Old Testament of the Bible and read the timeless words for yourself. Even more curious? The ancient proposes an answer but gives little idea as to the finding thereof, but the story is far from over. The book of John in the New Testament is your next reading assignment if you have made it this far. There is an answer if we are willing to look for it. No amount of personal or professional success will fill that hole in your life, but there is something that will.
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Toddlers behind the wheel
I am a little concerned about the driving years, and our wee bairn hasn't even had his second birthday! He has one of those plastic cars they can sit on and push with their legs or hold the handle and walk behind. I have already sabotaged the sound mechanism (batteries, what batteries?) as my sanity could not take 14 hours a day of constant sirens. This past week he has also been caught talking on the phone while driving and has had several reckless driving citations besides. He has an old remote to play with and this doubles as a cell phone, he was talking on his remote while trying to ride on his car. After that he wanted to ride it down the basement stairs and then tipped over while trying to pull another toy, among other misadventures. I suppose this comes of having boys. My one comfort is that by the time he is old enough to drive (30 if we are lucky) they won't have cell phones but some other nifty device that is completely hands free; I am not sure what will happen if he wants to drive his car into the basement?
Thursday, January 2, 2014
On lazy bloggers
Greetings nonexistent fans,
Don't you hate it when people just steal other people's ideas and have no original thoughts of their own? Like when bloggers link to really good articles at other sites rather than plagiarizing them? This was a good article if you have kids and are trying to raise them with some discernment in our colorful culture. Maybe someday I will post something original…when the kids are in college?
Don't you hate it when people just steal other people's ideas and have no original thoughts of their own? Like when bloggers link to really good articles at other sites rather than plagiarizing them? This was a good article if you have kids and are trying to raise them with some discernment in our colorful culture. Maybe someday I will post something original…when the kids are in college?
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