Pizza Buffet, at home!

We are having company and sometimes I can't decide what to make for supper.  Sometimes it is fun to let the guests fend for themselves, especially if they have teenagers or older kids.  I make enough dough in the bread machine for the number of guests we are expecting and roll it out into single serving sizes, place on a baking sheet and preheat the oven, then I let everyone make their own pizza.  Obviously not everyone will be able to eat the main course at once as the pizzas must take turns in the oven, but if you have some munchies and conversation to keep them busy this in not a huge problem.  I set out a variety of sauces, cheeses, and toppings and let people do their own thing, it is a lot of fun and everyone gets to eat something they like.  If only there were some fried chicken in the mix...

Reinventing the hotdog...

Before kids, hotdogs were rare 'oh they're on sale' treats, after kids, strangely they have become the fifth food group, and needless to say they can get a little boring.  So I went searching on the boundless 'interweb' and came across a few recipes that looked interesting, namely a hotdog wrapped in either a bagel or pretzel dough and baked until delicious.  I tried the pretzel variant tonight and was very happy with the result, the same technique could easily be modified to make it a 'bagel dog.'  I ended up with 24 of the buggers from a 1.5 pound bread dough recipe (4.5 cups flour), so I will have plenty to freeze!

You will need:

Bread dough (use your favorite recipe/technique or frozen should work fine too), I'd stick to plain white bread but if you want to experiment with something else, that's what puts the fun in cooking!

Hot dogs (number depends on size and amount of dough you have)

8-10 cups water in a large pot

1/4 cup white sugar or 2/3 cup baking soda (sugar for bagels or soda for pretzels)

What to do:

Add sugar or soda to water and bring to boil.  Divide dough into quarters and roll each quarter into a rough rectangle, as flat as you can get it.  Then cut 1-2 inch strips with a pizza cutter the full length of the dough.  Wrap each hotdog in a strip of dough, slightly overlapping edges and leaving both ends of the hot dog peeking out, seal the loose edge of the dough.  Place 2-3 wrapped hotdogs in the boiling water and remove with slotted spoon once they float and the dough looks pasty and slightly poofy (about 1-2 minutes).  Drain hotdogs slightly on a towel, place on a baking sheet in oven (375-425 degrees), and bake until golden brown and the hotdog sizzles.  Should freeze well.  Leftover dough can be used to make bagel or pretzel bites.

An unfortunate choice of wording

I was not planning to buy peaches, but the sign intrigued me.  On a placard bearing the words, 'red tag special,' they advertised that Listeria laced peaches were not available.  I was appalled, this could not be happening!  This is America, we do not have shortages like this!  It is in the Constitution or something, didn't we fight a war with Britain over tea?  What will this do to world peace and stability?  I was aghast, no peaches?  I am sure I have a recipe somewhere for peaches ala listeriosis…now that I knew I couldn't have them I knew that I must have them…I need them!  This is an outrage!  Just wait until social media finds out…I will write the president…the marines...

Yes, I am being utterly ridiculous again, but this poorly worded sign amused me no end.  I have no wish to consume peaches contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes and risk illness thereby, but the sign literally made it sound as if they were apologizing that said tainted fruit was unavailable rather than that it was unavailable due to recall because it was tainted!  This is why good grammar is important, lest you disappoint your customers that they have missed their opportunity to own their very own tainted fruit rather than saying that you are out of peaches but their health will not be imperiled thereby.  So go hug an English Teacher (I suppose they are called something like Language Arts teachers these days, don't ask me what the modern day equivalent of Home Ec. is) for one might have saved your life!

Beauty for ashes (Epic Gardening the epilogue)

After my poor little garden got mowed over, I figured I'd at least check the potatoes to see if anything was salvageable.  I was hoping to get a few new potatoes anyway.  I checked the first plant with a hand trowel and salvaged two golfball sized potatoes (though damaging their delicate skin in my retrieval).  I'll probably get a decent crop of small potatoes after all, but these first damaged fruits need immediate first aid:

Melt butter (yes, real butter and lots of it) in a pan.

Slice potatoes as thin as possible and add to melted butter.  Add sweet peppers and onions.  Season with garlic, pepper, and seasoned salt.  Stir frequently and cook until crispy and soft.

This has turned out to be a very tasty unfortunate incident!

Naan?

I've never had real naan (Indian flatbread), but I found this recipe on the internet so it must be authentic, right?  Anywho, this is a tasty alternative to hot dog buns, tortillas, etc.  You can put sauce on it and make mini pizzas or use it for tacos, it is even good plain!  I let it cool slightly and throw it in the freezer, pulling out what I need.  It thaws well (or you can microwave it too) and tastes fresh too.  I use the bread machine but you can adjust it for the mixer or by hand if you prefer.

For bread machine on dough cycle (follow your machine's specifications):

1 cup warm water
3 Tbsp milk
1 egg
2 tsp salt
1/4 c white sugar

4 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp garlic powder (optional, add with the flour)

2 tsp bread machine yeast

Run the dough cycle as directed, adding more water or flour as needed to form a nice dough.

Once the cycle is finished, remove dough and divide into 18-24 golf ball sized chunks.  Let the balls of dough rise until double.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees (F) with a pizza stone or cookie sheet on the middle rack inside while preheating.

Roll each ball of dough flat (~1/8 inch thick) and place 3-4 quickly onto preheated stone/sheet and shut the oven.  Remove when bread is puffy and starts to acquire brownish spots (about 2-3 minutes per batch).  Place bread in a covered container lined with a towel to 'sweat.'  Repeat with remaining dough, placing hot bread on top of cooler bread and replacing lid.  You can butter the bread right out of the oven which makes it even better.  The original recipe calls for buttering the bread before cooking but that can cause a very smokey baking experience.  Eat while still warm or freeze for best results.

You can also cook them on the stove top in a very hot pan, turning once like pancakes.

All's fair in love and photography?

I have been a dabbler in photography since I received a 110 film camera back in the stone ages when I was 7 or 8, and over the years my equipment and skills have improved and I have even evolved into the digital age, more or less willingly.  Over the years I've enjoyed entering a few pictures in the local county fair with varying results.  In 4-H as a teenager with a 35mm camera I always placed well but never went to the State Fair in that particular project, but I did grow bolder and even tried open class once my 4-H days were over.  That particular fair had a wonderful photography exhibit and was very competitive, more often than not I never placed but when I did, I felt like it actually meant something.  Then I grew up, went to school for a century or two, and started something called real life and my exhibitionistic days seemed behind me.  But after I had settled down again I figured why not try again at a fair 300 miles away?  That was a mistake.

It was a much smaller fair and the photography was all jumbled up with finger paintings by 5 year olds and cross-stitch patterns by octogenarians and the homemade potholder display.  Worse, nothing was sorted by class, subject, or age group.  The proverbial monkeys that should be trying to type up Hamlet must have taken a break to arrange the exhibit.  The judging was also a travesty, apparently by same said monkeys, as photos well worth placing were left barren while certain unremarkable prints took the prize.  I was embarrassed even to be a part of it.

Then we moved again (500 miles later) and another small fair presented itself, why not?  So off I went again with my photos to the county fair, this one had a rather strange classing system (based on film type (110, 35mm, digital, etc, I was surprised not too see polaroid!) but I thought I might as well try as not.  I entered 10 shots and took a blue on every one plus a few special merits and Reserve Champion, awesome photographer you ask?  No, tiny fair!  The exhibit was small but well organized and the judging was fair, therein I must be content.  I'd like to see a larger array of photos and of better quality, but at least it is a start.  As there were a total of 50 photos, I took about 20% of the lot!  Most were just snapshots rather than people trying to be artistic, which is fun but not really a challenge.  I miss the fair of my youth, but for a minuscule fair, I cannot complain, at least I felt like the judging was not based on the photographer but on the quality of the work.  The Grand Champion deserved to be grand champion, whereas the last fair I went to, the Grand Champ was only such because of who they were not what they had done.

I love beauty and am overjoyed when someone manages to catch it on film, I can't paint or draw, only push a button to capture a moment in time, but sometimes it is a window into something beyond it.

Peanut Butter Frosting

If you get tired of the same chocolate or vanilla, here's a quick recipe for peanut butter frosting:

1/4 cup creamy Peanut Butter
1/4 butter, softened but not melted

Beat together until smooth, then add:

1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt

Mix well then gradually add:

Approximately 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar.  Add a little milk as needed until you achieve the desired consistency.  Blend well with a hand mixer.  Great for cakes or even eating straight out of the bowl!

Hotel Vole

Dear Gentle Rodents,

I must tell you of this dear little place I found, nestled back in a shady corner of a lovely garden setting. The rooms are spacious, fresh bedding is provided frequently and turned at prime intervals.  The room service is outstanding, with an assortment of goodies provided just when it is wanted.  The place is frequented by only the fattest and sleekest of our kind and they rave that it is 'the' place to raise children.  Predators are completely absent and even the worst of the weather is kept at bay thanks to the ingenuity of our hosts.  The silly creatures insist on calling the place a 'compost heap,' or even a 'dump,' but I assure you it is anything but.  So when next you are in the market for new lodgings, be sure to check out this little gem!


Sincerely,

Madam Vole