Beware the sheep

It started with bottles, okay, whatever…then it was contact solution, that's annoying…now it's dishwasher detergent and I'm really annoyed.  In their bid to take over the world, nay the universe, Amazon has reached a new low (and yes, I am using hyperbole, I am not a conspiracy theorist).  Basically, they won't sell you certain products unless you are a Prime Member, they advertise them to everyone (at the same price you can find elsewhere) and then laugh in your face when you click on the item of interest.  I can understand a 'membership only' store like Sam's Club, which will still sell items to non-members by the way, you only have to pay a little extra, but to offer items to everyone with an internet connection and then say you can only buy certain items if you are in the 'in' crowd rubs me the wrong way, maybe it's because I have a toddler: he digs in my feet and I dig in mine.  A good sheep would just get a prime membership and shut up, or go shopping elsewhere.  I want to start an internet revolution, me and the two people who read this blog, one of them by accident…I can dream, can't I?

I've already tolerated this nonsense with Amazon as an independent author for a while, unless you agree to publish your books exclusively with them, you are subjected to numerous limitations and disadvantages, but I am not going to throw all my eggs in one basket, not to mention they are lousy to work with as an author, so I'll endure the limitations and focus my authorial efforts elsewhere, but still have my books available for those who can't live without Amazon, even if they now need to pay $2.99 for them when they are free elsewhere, but hey, that's capitalism, right?  Go figure.

So for now I'll take my business elsewhere and watch what will happen, probably nothing, but I'm hoping Amazon so frustrates its customers that it takes a hit to its bottom line and learns you can only bully people so much, but I have a feeling people will just get prime memberships and go with the flow.  I'm not even an ant trying to get a message across to something the size of a blue whale, but viva la resistance!  We'll leave the guillotines in the museum however.

Disasters in childrearing...

I am never having kids!  I guess it is a little too late for that in my case, but after reading a certain snarky mommy website I can only conclude the little vermin utterly destroy your life.  Yes, there were a few authors who waxed eloquent about the joys and wonder of motherhood, but mostly the writers focused on the mess, the noise, the chaos, the disruption to one's social life, and the expense.  It reminded me of my worst days babysitting, no wonder birth rates are declining in the civilized world!  But it also gave me pause: I have a toddler and my life isn't like that.  So is my kid/life weird or is something else amiss here?  Since an N of one is not scientifically viable, I expanded my study population to include the kids in our church, the kids I babysat growing up, and the kids in our Wednesday night program.  Looking at the majority of those kids (and their behavior in a public venue), I begin to see where these moms are finding their angst with motherhood.  So what is the problem?  Are kids in general crazed maniacs (and they all are at times) or is there something about modern parenting that has unhinged our youngsters?

I think it is the latter.  One article stated it quite well, though unintentionally, 'your kids are your boss.'  It was an article on stay at home moms, but I think it sums up the problem well.  The child should never be in charge, no wonder modern homes are a mess, and as one mother of my acquaintance recently remarked, "I can't imagine staying at home with my kids; I need day care!"  I am not trying to find fault with daycare, stay at home or working moms, etc. we all do what we must to get by in this crazed age, rather I am aghast at the way we, in general, are raising the next generation.  I know kids who are respectful, well mannered, listen, and are still happy and well adjusted.  I have a toddler that I have no qualms about taking out in public, going shopping with, or taking on a 12 hour car trip while some of these moms can't even get a shower on a daily basis.  This is not to say he does not have his moments, he is three after all, but he is not in charge, he knows it, and he is content and happy in such a circumstance.  And no, he is not a push over with no opinions of his own, he is certainly 'strong willed,' and stubborn to a fault, but he also knows what is expected of him and the consequences should he do otherwise.

But then, is it fair to expect our kids to be well behaved when their parents are not?  It is scary how much my son picks up by watching and listening to those around him, and yes, he finds all sorts of novel ways to be naughty after spending time with other kids, but he soon learns that that is not how life works around here and he is soon enough back to 'normal.'  If your home life is a disaster (and from some of what those moms wrote, it is obvious they are), then you can't expect your kids to turn out much differently.  If you are constantly yelling, swearing, being disrespectful to others, being mean, ignoring what is said, then that is exactly what your little one is going to do.  Maybe if we want happy, well-behaved kids, we first need to look in the mirror.  The old adage, 'monkey see, monkey do,' is quite appropriate here.

Zebras in the closet

Some people are obsessed with baseball or a certain celebrity or quilting or antiques or what have you, my tastes run more in the direction of kittiwakes and avocets, especially this time a year, perhaps it is a type of 'bird flu?'  Some people collect teaspoons or stamps, I get to put a little tiny check mark next to yet another name on a list composed of such entries as 'bristle thighed curlew' and 'chuck-will's-widow.'  I am an avid bird watcher, but not an obsessed one (I won't spend thousands of dollars to go on a guided tour of some exotic location in search of more unique species for my 'life list').  And with our recent move, I have discovered that I have outgrown my beloved and dogeared Peterson's 'Eastern Birds' (the original birder's bible, at least in eastern North America) but a whole world of new and interesting species has opened up to me.  What I did not expect was to find certain 'life birds' here that I've been trying to see for years further north and east.

Yesterday I saw a red crossbill (a big red finchy thing with a cool beak) at a neighbor's bird feeder.  They are considered a 'northern finch' and should be easier to find, say near the Canadian border where we used to live, but never did I ever see one, despite all hope and effort on my part, and here a whole flock is busy in someone's backyard while I am on a totally unrelated errand.  It was a thrilling moment, in finding something I had sought for so long, but also a bit anticlimactic, finding something so long sought in so common a place when I was not even looking for it!  It was exactly like seeing my first showy lady's slipper in a road ditch (a big, colorful orchid native to northern swamps).  I suppose it is a good metaphor for life: we strive and hope and seek and long for something, yet all our effort comes to naught, and then when we least expect it, after we have despaired of ever finding it, we turn around and there it is, in a place and time we never thought to look.  Life should never lose its sense of adventure, its sparkle of the unknown, for truly, you never know what may be lurking just around the bend, over the next rise, or on the day after tomorrow.

I'm rather go to the dentist!

I hate baby showers, don't get me wrong, I love the idea of people getting together and celebrating the birth of a child and helping out the mom to be with fun and necessary gifts, rather I hate the shallowness, the insipidity, and the fakeness of it all, not to mention those horrid games.  They aren't fun, at least the ones I've had to go to, rather it feels more like a visit to the dentist: something you have to do, a societal burden as it were.  Mostly, they just seem awkward, you get all these people together who don't know each other and everything has to be baby themed and all the attention is always focused on the poor mom to be, which if she is of a shier disposition, is no fun at all.  I'd rather just get together with a bunch of people and have fun: eat snacks, play some fun games, have some social time for people to get to know each other.  Rather we all sit in a silent horde and watch someone open yet another blue gift bag containing the third green monkey onesie of the day and then play some vapid game, eat an appropriately tinted cupcake, and then go home.  Yawn!  Why not actually have fun?  Less structure, less stress, more socialization?  Why not do something to encourage the mom to be (besides giving her stuff of course)?  And no, this is not where you tell her how she MUST do something; no doubt she's overwhelmed enough as it is, everyone she meets has already told her how things ought to be done and no two people have given the same advice.

Rather than the game, why not have everyone share something humorous and something useful?  Say, the best and worst parenting advice they've ever been given or some incident in their own lives, a humorous or heartwarming incident along with something practical, even the non-parents in the group should have something they've read on the internet, experienced as children themselves, or have undoubtedly had babysitting adventures or friends or relatives with relevant experiences. It would liven things up a bit, lighten the mood, get everyone involved, and may even help the mom to be relax a bit about the looming monster that is parenthood.  You could even jot it all down in a little book and make a memory out of it, something to look back on for encouragement, or at least a good laugh.  It certainly beats taste testing baby food, microwaving candy bars to mimic infant excrement, and that tedious 'make a story containing these 47 baby-related words' game!

Just when you thought you could eat an apple...

Trans fats, gluten, genetically modified crops, pesticides, mercury, high fructose corn syrup, preservatives…the list goes on and on, it makes one want to throw up their hands and scream, what is safe to eat and what is not?  Just when you hope you can go to the grocery store and pick up a few things for dinner, think again.  There is now a substance called deoxyribonucleic acid that is gaining more and more scrutiny by the scientific community as well as the food consuming public.  This substance has been linked to every known form of cancer, it results in birth defects and miscarriages, the list of associated maladies is endless: heart disease, diabetes, liver and kidney disorders, mental health disorders, and every contagious disease from the common cold to ebola are dependent on this substance to wreak their havoc.  Traces of it can be found in nearly every cell in a given human body and the natural environment is irreversibly contaminated with the stuff.  Worse, it is strongly linked with the aging process.  If you want to know more about this substance and its impact on your health and our planet, click here.  To sign the petition to ban this dangerous molecule, click here.