Slow learner

My son has two mommies: one by birth and one by adoption.  Now every adoption tale is different, but I am only just beginning to understand that word, though it has been nearly seven years since our own tale began.  My own childhood/family was tragic and I never understood either the word love, family, parent, or marriage until experience with my own taught me what my parents and sibling could not.  And only recently have I begun to understand what it means to be 'adopted as sons' into the family of God, what it is the Church is supposed to be, how it is we shall have 'mothers and father, brothers and sisters, children,' even though we perhaps have none on this earth.  I once mentally compared the relationship between 'birth relatives' and the adoptive family to the awkwardness found between divorce riddled relations, but I was wrong, utterly.  In my experience, it is much more like a marriage: bringing together two disparate clans, for better or for worse.  Each family has its own dynamics and character and experience, certainly, as each marriage is an individual entity, with no two alike, but you are uniting two family units, no matter if they choose to be close or estranged, friends or strangers.

Strangely, I did not just find a son, but have inherited a sister in his mother and a set of loving grandparents besides, all of us united by our love for this little boy and our determination to do what is best for him, rather than what seems most satisfying to ourselves at the time (the heart of good parenting and the very meaning of love).  It hasn't been easy, there have been struggles and certainly awkwardness over the years, but perseverance, patience, prayer, and persistence have paid off and everyone has benefited thereby, most especially said little boy, just like any marriage, or even relationship.  Each person must decide their own level of interest and involvement in such a circumstance, certainly, but hopefully such decisions are made for the benefit of the child rather than for more selfish or expedient motives.

And I've been adopted, I am as much a part of the Church (God's family) as this little boy, unrelated by blood, is an indelible part of our family.  And all those crazy, disparate, wonderful, broken people are my aunts and cousins and sisters and kids, just like in earthly families where you don't get to choose your relatives but must learn to live together peaceably.  Some will think me mad, that those not related by blood can share such a bond, save by 'romantic love,' but my blood relatives could care less about me and mine, but I've a whole host of 'spiritual' relatives that love me to pieces, my little boy's biological family included.  Adoption, like the Church and the world in general, is messy, hard, heartbreaking, and beautiful, but well worth the effort.