Overachievers

Anyone who has ever been a parent (or a kid), knows that our modern culture is all about milestones, achievements, and success.  It starts the minute you know you're pregnant and doesn't end, ever.  Boy or girl?  When do you first feel movement?  What about a name?  It's a competition and it never slackens, never lets up, if we let it.  What ever happened to childhood?  To innocence?  To fun and play and exploration and imagination?  They got eaten by the success monster.

Our little boy will be five this spring, and I guess he's finally, officially potty trained as of this morning.  We started when he was two.  From the time he was a year old, people were telling me about their kid who was potty trained at 18 months...as if it was some sort of competition or race or you got a super bowl ring if your kid was a potty genius, not that anyone in his college class will know if he was independent at 2 years or 6.  He's been out of diapers since his third birthday, except at night.  Last night was his first night without pull-ups and he did great.  Was it that we were bad parents?  Is he some sort of an ignoramus?

No, he just wasn't ready.  He sleeps hard.  He once fell out of bed and kept on snoozing.  He'd never wake up to go potty, he'd just sleep right on through it.  He's finally waking up to go potty.  Interestingly, this afflicts about 20% of kids in this age range in one form or another, but you NEVER hear anyone talking about it.  Some don't have the neuronal maturity required, some are just hard sleepers, or whatever, but it is normal and it is okay.  We could have gotten him up at midnight to go potty, which really wouldn't have accomplished anything except disrupt all our sleep.  Instead, we just gave him time, and it worked.  No stress, no pressure, just patience and gentle encouragement.  And when he was ready, he was ready.

We are all in a hurry in this culture, so much so that we miss out on so much, suffer so much unnecessary stress and pressure, and really don't enjoy life, even when we do succeed because we're so concerned about what's next.  What are you pressuring yourself or your kids to do that really doesn't matter?  When was the last time you actually just lived, instead of forcing things to a hasty conclusion?  Slow down, enjoy it, life is fleeting enough without us hastening it along.