I'm not sure how I fell into it, but it seems I have developed something of an obsession with revamping old lampshades. That was exciting, wasn't it? Probably not. New they can set you back a good $15-20 or maybe more, depending on size and trendiness. But you may have several shabby or unprepossessing specimens lurking about the house or find a couple at the local thrift store or the neighbor's yard sale for pennies. There is a vast array of sizes, shapes, materials, colors, and construction so it useless to try and give an overview here but a quick search on Google or Pinterest will yield an overwhelming assortment of ideas to get you started. But there is minimal skill or equipment required for many ideas: a hot glue gun, spray adhesive, mod podge or a little paint, an old t-shirt or some scraps of paper or lace or ribbons or even buttons. You can paint them, recover with a material of your choice, or even mod podge something over top.
I had a very unexciting specimen (my first attempt): an off-white ruffled thing, full of dust; it had a cracked plastic base thanks to a certain two-year old and I figured it was done for. I ripped off the cloth cover, stabilized the cracks with clear packing tape, and recovered it with a bit of fabric and spray adhesive and it looks great. I didn't want to go out and buy something to cover it, so I tried to use something from around the house but couldn't find anything to fit my fancy (or my living room) that I wanted to part with. I had an old table cloth (white) from my grandmother (not an heirloom, just something she didn't want but couldn't throw out so she figured I needed it) that had a nice textured floral pattern but I didn't want another whitish lampshade. The walls are white, the carpet beige, do I really need more colorless neutral tones? Of course I would dye the silly thing, because that is what every sensible person thinks of in cases like these, right? Actually I had a jar of 'instant rust' left over from a wood aging project (basically vinegar and steel wool in a jar) and as I knew rust was a horrible stain, could I use it to somehow banish that horrid whiteness from my tablecloth? I googled it and apparently you can (so now I'm naturally dyeing fabrics as well as revamping lamp shades, who knew I was this creative?!...I'm not, it just looks that way). It came out a nice dark coral-ish color (and happily a few shades lighter than the dried blood shade it could have been).
You don't need to do anything that lavish, I just used what I had lying around the house and it was fun just to try different things. It can update your decor rather inexpensively and who knows, you may discover a hobby of your own!
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Taco Pasta Salad
It's summer and I love taco salad, but I was fresh out of lettuce, so I googled taco type recipes and discovered that maybe I could still get the taste without the greenery. The solution: make a taco salad with pasta instead of lettuce (use whole grain if you want to make it healthy, I won't tell you my preferred species of greens either, as that would only get me in trouble too!).
In a skillet:
Brown 1 pound ground beef with a chopped onion, drain fat and add a packet of taco seasoning and a large can of diced tomatoes, undrained (28oz). Cook until thickened and heated through, chill until cold.
Meanwhile, prepare one pound of rotini (or other small pasta) according to package direction, rinse under cold water and mix with meat mixture.
Once chilled, mix in 2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese and any desired veggies (peppers, olives, corn, beans, you could also go fresh on the tomatoes and onion too instead of cooking it with the meat).
Mix in salsa, French dressing, taco sauce or any other desired flavoring agent as well, or serve on the side so people can customize the flavor. Crush up nacho corn chips and mix in right before serving. Serve cold and keep refrigerated.
In a skillet:
Brown 1 pound ground beef with a chopped onion, drain fat and add a packet of taco seasoning and a large can of diced tomatoes, undrained (28oz). Cook until thickened and heated through, chill until cold.
Meanwhile, prepare one pound of rotini (or other small pasta) according to package direction, rinse under cold water and mix with meat mixture.
Once chilled, mix in 2 cups of sharp cheddar cheese and any desired veggies (peppers, olives, corn, beans, you could also go fresh on the tomatoes and onion too instead of cooking it with the meat).
Mix in salsa, French dressing, taco sauce or any other desired flavoring agent as well, or serve on the side so people can customize the flavor. Crush up nacho corn chips and mix in right before serving. Serve cold and keep refrigerated.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
This ain't my grandma's rolling pin?!
I've never bought a rolling pin, I inherited two from my great grandmother, one I used and the other was resigned to my son's play dough obsession. Then my pin broke and I had to recommission the play clay pin back into service but while it had adorable red handles, the handles were already starting to fall off. So I had to buy a rolling pin. I had no idea there were so many shapes, types, and materials before. Where do you even start? So I did the wise thing and googled it. I found a great article and ended up ordering their second pick off Amazon because I had a few other things to get and I like free shipping. I was certainly leery about ordering that my husband called 'a baseball bat' and looks to all extents and purposes like a club, but I had ordered it and it was too late to cancel the order. I'm used to the traditional pin, not just a straight hunk of wood!
But it came and I tried it. It was wonderful, I love it, I feel like I've just discovered the wheel, except it's a stick. Weird! Now I have two feet of solid maple lurking in a kitchen drawer to wield against various types of dough and insolent banditti and it will literally last forever (unless the house burns down or my son gets ahold of it for batting practice). The only downside was that some genius decided to stick a very superior label (in its adhesive abilities) to the working surface of the pin (a common complaint in the comments on this particular item) but using a remedy recommended in said comments, I applied canola oil to the label, letting it soak in for a few minutes and then used my finger nail to gradually loosen the edges (adding more oil as necessary) and eventually got it off without damage. I ended up oiling the entire pin because it seemed to make the wood a bit smoother and deepened the color, it seemed a little dry prior to that, but besides for the label snafu, it is a superior product, and this from the person who never knew there was such a thing just the week before!
But it came and I tried it. It was wonderful, I love it, I feel like I've just discovered the wheel, except it's a stick. Weird! Now I have two feet of solid maple lurking in a kitchen drawer to wield against various types of dough and insolent banditti and it will literally last forever (unless the house burns down or my son gets ahold of it for batting practice). The only downside was that some genius decided to stick a very superior label (in its adhesive abilities) to the working surface of the pin (a common complaint in the comments on this particular item) but using a remedy recommended in said comments, I applied canola oil to the label, letting it soak in for a few minutes and then used my finger nail to gradually loosen the edges (adding more oil as necessary) and eventually got it off without damage. I ended up oiling the entire pin because it seemed to make the wood a bit smoother and deepened the color, it seemed a little dry prior to that, but besides for the label snafu, it is a superior product, and this from the person who never knew there was such a thing just the week before!
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
The Gospel according to Food
Gluten free, fat free, non-gmo, organic, kosher, no high fructose corn syrup, all natural, whole grain, no antibiotics or hormones...what does it all mean? How do you choose what to eat when all the food labels boldly proclaim what isn't in a product but really don't say much about the product itself? If you eat the wrong thing, it will kill you, right? Or at least give you cancer or destroy the planet or...or...or...? How much is based on science and how much is just Big Food jargon or originated in the ravings of a paranoid lady in Peoria and went viral on the internet before seeping into our cultural subconscious. Here's a quick guide to some of the most common jargon, fads, and trends currently in foodie vogue in common English without the hype:
Gluten free: no, it isn't the substance responsible for producing the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, it is simply a protein found in wheat. That's it. If you have wheat or gluten sensitivities/allergies or Celiac disease, it is best to avoid it (as you should anything you are allergic or sensitive to, be it penicillin or bees). For the rest of the population, you can choose to eat gluten containing products or not at your leisure. It won't kill you or cause cancer, it may make you fat if you eat too much of it (just like any other calorie containing product). So why is gluten free a selling point? I have gluten free salt. Which is really stupid to put on the label as a health claim as salt obviously does not contain wheat and thus no gluten (though it may be produced in a factory that processes gluten products, that is a helpful note for our friends with Celiac, but otherwise it is rather ridiculous!).
Fat free: the item in question has no calories from fat. But what is the carbohydrate content? No calories from fat, but probably plenty from sugar. I saw this on a bag of jelly beans, which isn't exactly health food, whereas real beans have a little fat in them, go figure.
Non-GMO: this stands for non-Genetically Modified Organism, which involves most species on the planet. The last time I heard, I think there were 11 commercially available crop species (but no animals) that have any sort of genetic modification. So when something like your favorite Oat Cereal says 'non-GMO' it can proclaim it boldly because there isn't a genetically modified strain of oats available thus all oats are non-GMO. As for the health claims of non-GMO, I'm not sure how there is much of a difference between a GMO and a non-GMO corn plant or soybean. Every living cell contains DNA (or genetic material) and lots of it. The only difference between a GMO and a non-GMO whatever is that a certain segment of DNA has been added or removed from the GMO (hence the modified), we're talking a gene or two worth of genetic information, think a few inches worth of molecules on a strand that stretches for miles (yep, just a teeny tiny bit). What's the point? Why mess with the genetic code? It is done to make a certain plant drought tolerant, resistant to certain pests or herbicides, more productive, etc. Yes, that's right, it is done to make farming more efficient and safe, to feed hungry people in adverse conditions, it reduces water, chemical, and land usage/contamination so it can be better for the environment and humanity than standard crops. Humans have been using genetic modification techniques for as long as we've been farming. Selecting one bull or the seeds of a certain plant over another is genetic selection and hence modification, though it can take centuries to select for a certain trait by breeding for it, this just speeds the process up. I want my wheat to be as drought resistant as that weed over there...so you 'cut and paste' the drought resistant gene out of the weed into the wheat, otherwise leaving the wheat unaltered. But what happens to this modified DNA in the human body; is it safe? It gets broken down in the stomach like every other piece of DNA you ingest (every cell you consume contains lots of DNA) and your body can't differentiate if that gene is native to the corn you just ate or came from the bacteria you swallowed along with it; it all gets broken down into its constituent parts. It doesn't cause cancer or mutant children or anything of the sort, it is just another hunk of genetic material to your body's perception and digestion, and equally delicious and nutritious.
No high fructose corn syrup: I really don't get this one. What is so evil about this particular kind of sugar vs. all other types of sugar? Most of the products sporting this label claim are loaded with other types of sugar, including regular corn syrup, so it really isn't any better for you that way. And don't be fooled by products containing things like 'evaporated cane juice,' which is just sugar by another name. Sugar is sugar, even by another name, it still tastes as sweet. So eat sugar, or don't,' but don't be fooled into thinking something has less sugar in it just because it doesn't contain a certain type.
All natural: this can mean anything or nothing, Organic has a legal definition, but anything can be 'natural.' Think of Twinkies, Oreos, and Mountain Dew sporting that label! Speaking of which, strychnine, botulism toxin, and mercury are all quite natural too.
Whole Grain or Real Fruit: read the label on supposedly 'whole grain' products carefully, the same goes for juice and other 'fruit' products. All they need is a pinch of whole wheat or real fruit and they can label it 'whole grain' or 'real fruit.' If 'whole grain oats' are listed next to the salt on the ingredient label, the thing is 97% non-whole grain; the same goes for the fruit, many juices are 10% juice and 90% sugar! Look for 100% whole grain or fruit products or whole grains or fruit as the first ingredient on the list.
No antibiotics or hormones: news flash: there aren't detectable traces (some measured in parts per billion) of pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics, hormones, fungicides, anthelminthics...in your food. It is illegal and they are quite thorough in their testing methods (and grouchy and severe if you get caught). Something may say it doesn't have antibiotics in it and it is quite right, but then neither does the stuff without the label, so why put it on the label to begin with?
Kosher or Halal: these are terms denoting the food item was produced/processed according to the religious tradition in question and has very little to do with the actual healthiness or quality of the product, very important if you are a follower of that particular religion but rather moot for everyone else.
Organic: this is a legal definition and the rules are defined by someone in the labyrinthine bureaucracy of the federal government who may or may not know anything about agriculture, science, or humanity. Whether it is actually healthier for you and the planet and is kinder to production animals is yet to be seen. And whether it is worth paying 2-5 times the price for the same product to the average consumer is also a good question. I don't have much personal experience with organic plants, but I've worked for a number of organic and conventional farms (mostly dairy cattle, a few poultry, beef, and goat operations too) but there isn't a huge difference in the way the animals are treated, their environmental footprint, or the overall production methods between organic and conventional farms, but it does vary greatly between farm and farm (regardless of organic or conventional). The worst farm I ever visited was a producer of a locally well known and expensive brand of organic goat cheese while many of the best farms I've visited are traditional, with everything in between for both methods. Either you have a conscientious producer or you don't, being organic or not has little to do with it.
So what do you eat? What ever you want! Be a rebel and eat what you want, not what 'they' think you should. Celebrities and random people on the internet have no right to dictate your diet. Buy the stuff you like, that fits your budget, and your lifestyle/dietary needs. Eat a variety of things in moderation and you will be just fine; there is no particular food that will either kill you or keep you perfectly healthy. Just because a food product says something on the label (or you read something dreadful on google this morning) doesn't make it either good or bad; it may be just a nonsensical statement of fact obfuscating the actual truth (no fat but lots of sugar, it contains 1 part per million of whole grain or real fruit juice...). But most of all, you should not be guilted, bullied, or worried into buying (or not buying) a certain product. Foregoing the organic eggs does not mean you are being cruel to animals or destroying the planet, but it will save you a couple bucks while the nutritional value is the same. In our age of tolerance for just about everything else, eating seems to be the new morality and there is no shortage of torch and pitchfork wielding villagers waiting to burn you at the stake for eating a steak! Aren't there far more important things for people to worry about than your grocery list? It used to be people were just happy to get enough to eat, not worrying about whether it was locally sourced from vegan fed swine blessed by barefooted priests at the full of the moon!
Gluten free: no, it isn't the substance responsible for producing the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles, it is simply a protein found in wheat. That's it. If you have wheat or gluten sensitivities/allergies or Celiac disease, it is best to avoid it (as you should anything you are allergic or sensitive to, be it penicillin or bees). For the rest of the population, you can choose to eat gluten containing products or not at your leisure. It won't kill you or cause cancer, it may make you fat if you eat too much of it (just like any other calorie containing product). So why is gluten free a selling point? I have gluten free salt. Which is really stupid to put on the label as a health claim as salt obviously does not contain wheat and thus no gluten (though it may be produced in a factory that processes gluten products, that is a helpful note for our friends with Celiac, but otherwise it is rather ridiculous!).
Fat free: the item in question has no calories from fat. But what is the carbohydrate content? No calories from fat, but probably plenty from sugar. I saw this on a bag of jelly beans, which isn't exactly health food, whereas real beans have a little fat in them, go figure.
Non-GMO: this stands for non-Genetically Modified Organism, which involves most species on the planet. The last time I heard, I think there were 11 commercially available crop species (but no animals) that have any sort of genetic modification. So when something like your favorite Oat Cereal says 'non-GMO' it can proclaim it boldly because there isn't a genetically modified strain of oats available thus all oats are non-GMO. As for the health claims of non-GMO, I'm not sure how there is much of a difference between a GMO and a non-GMO corn plant or soybean. Every living cell contains DNA (or genetic material) and lots of it. The only difference between a GMO and a non-GMO whatever is that a certain segment of DNA has been added or removed from the GMO (hence the modified), we're talking a gene or two worth of genetic information, think a few inches worth of molecules on a strand that stretches for miles (yep, just a teeny tiny bit). What's the point? Why mess with the genetic code? It is done to make a certain plant drought tolerant, resistant to certain pests or herbicides, more productive, etc. Yes, that's right, it is done to make farming more efficient and safe, to feed hungry people in adverse conditions, it reduces water, chemical, and land usage/contamination so it can be better for the environment and humanity than standard crops. Humans have been using genetic modification techniques for as long as we've been farming. Selecting one bull or the seeds of a certain plant over another is genetic selection and hence modification, though it can take centuries to select for a certain trait by breeding for it, this just speeds the process up. I want my wheat to be as drought resistant as that weed over there...so you 'cut and paste' the drought resistant gene out of the weed into the wheat, otherwise leaving the wheat unaltered. But what happens to this modified DNA in the human body; is it safe? It gets broken down in the stomach like every other piece of DNA you ingest (every cell you consume contains lots of DNA) and your body can't differentiate if that gene is native to the corn you just ate or came from the bacteria you swallowed along with it; it all gets broken down into its constituent parts. It doesn't cause cancer or mutant children or anything of the sort, it is just another hunk of genetic material to your body's perception and digestion, and equally delicious and nutritious.
No high fructose corn syrup: I really don't get this one. What is so evil about this particular kind of sugar vs. all other types of sugar? Most of the products sporting this label claim are loaded with other types of sugar, including regular corn syrup, so it really isn't any better for you that way. And don't be fooled by products containing things like 'evaporated cane juice,' which is just sugar by another name. Sugar is sugar, even by another name, it still tastes as sweet. So eat sugar, or don't,' but don't be fooled into thinking something has less sugar in it just because it doesn't contain a certain type.
All natural: this can mean anything or nothing, Organic has a legal definition, but anything can be 'natural.' Think of Twinkies, Oreos, and Mountain Dew sporting that label! Speaking of which, strychnine, botulism toxin, and mercury are all quite natural too.
Whole Grain or Real Fruit: read the label on supposedly 'whole grain' products carefully, the same goes for juice and other 'fruit' products. All they need is a pinch of whole wheat or real fruit and they can label it 'whole grain' or 'real fruit.' If 'whole grain oats' are listed next to the salt on the ingredient label, the thing is 97% non-whole grain; the same goes for the fruit, many juices are 10% juice and 90% sugar! Look for 100% whole grain or fruit products or whole grains or fruit as the first ingredient on the list.
No antibiotics or hormones: news flash: there aren't detectable traces (some measured in parts per billion) of pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics, hormones, fungicides, anthelminthics...in your food. It is illegal and they are quite thorough in their testing methods (and grouchy and severe if you get caught). Something may say it doesn't have antibiotics in it and it is quite right, but then neither does the stuff without the label, so why put it on the label to begin with?
Kosher or Halal: these are terms denoting the food item was produced/processed according to the religious tradition in question and has very little to do with the actual healthiness or quality of the product, very important if you are a follower of that particular religion but rather moot for everyone else.
Organic: this is a legal definition and the rules are defined by someone in the labyrinthine bureaucracy of the federal government who may or may not know anything about agriculture, science, or humanity. Whether it is actually healthier for you and the planet and is kinder to production animals is yet to be seen. And whether it is worth paying 2-5 times the price for the same product to the average consumer is also a good question. I don't have much personal experience with organic plants, but I've worked for a number of organic and conventional farms (mostly dairy cattle, a few poultry, beef, and goat operations too) but there isn't a huge difference in the way the animals are treated, their environmental footprint, or the overall production methods between organic and conventional farms, but it does vary greatly between farm and farm (regardless of organic or conventional). The worst farm I ever visited was a producer of a locally well known and expensive brand of organic goat cheese while many of the best farms I've visited are traditional, with everything in between for both methods. Either you have a conscientious producer or you don't, being organic or not has little to do with it.
So what do you eat? What ever you want! Be a rebel and eat what you want, not what 'they' think you should. Celebrities and random people on the internet have no right to dictate your diet. Buy the stuff you like, that fits your budget, and your lifestyle/dietary needs. Eat a variety of things in moderation and you will be just fine; there is no particular food that will either kill you or keep you perfectly healthy. Just because a food product says something on the label (or you read something dreadful on google this morning) doesn't make it either good or bad; it may be just a nonsensical statement of fact obfuscating the actual truth (no fat but lots of sugar, it contains 1 part per million of whole grain or real fruit juice...). But most of all, you should not be guilted, bullied, or worried into buying (or not buying) a certain product. Foregoing the organic eggs does not mean you are being cruel to animals or destroying the planet, but it will save you a couple bucks while the nutritional value is the same. In our age of tolerance for just about everything else, eating seems to be the new morality and there is no shortage of torch and pitchfork wielding villagers waiting to burn you at the stake for eating a steak! Aren't there far more important things for people to worry about than your grocery list? It used to be people were just happy to get enough to eat, not worrying about whether it was locally sourced from vegan fed swine blessed by barefooted priests at the full of the moon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)