Can you change a tire and other dangerous logic

I'm getting tired of those advertisements on the radio about adopting kids out of foster care, don't get me wrong, they are funny, catchy, memorable and certainly get your attention: truly a successful ad campaign.  What rubs me the wrong way is the message that if you can change a tire or bake a cake or have any other basic life skills, then you too have what it takes to adopt and parent a teen out of the foster system.  It is a grand and noble sentiment, truly, and I love getting the idea out there, perhaps to people who have never considered it and might make great foster parents, and these kids certainly do deserve loving, stable homes and families, none of that is wrong or bad.  What I abhor is the suggestion that anybody can do it, everybody is ready, it's easy as getting out of bed in the morning.  There are ad campaigns urging folks not to buy puppies as spontaneous Christmas gifts because dogs are a serious commitment, how much more so a child, especially one who has literally lived through Hell and has serious emotional damage.  But anybody can do it!  No, they can't.  It will destroy both the parent and the child if the parent goes into this thinking it will be easy as pie when it is all out war, war against the rage, frustration, abuse, abandonment, neglect, fear, shame, hatred that have been aimed at that child since he first was aware of anything.  Normal parenting is often difficult, these kids take it to a whole new level.

I am not saying it cannot be done, that it is impossible, that it isn't worthwhile, that it isn't necessary, but it is hard, very hard, and people need to know that before getting involved.  The commercial makes it sound so easy, easier than a puppy even (already housebroken!), but in reality it is the hardest thing you'll ever do, probably the most worthwhile, but also the most heartbreaking and frustrating, for progress will come slowly and there are some things that will haunt these kids (and their parents) for the rest of their lives.  You don't send a soldier out thinking he's going to have a squirt gun fight on a sunny afternoon and then he can be home for tea when in truth you send him into the trenches for months, if not years, and think he'll make it, why then do they sugar coat this issue?  It isn't fair or healthy to either the kids or the parents, because both are soldiers in a lifelong war against the horrors that led to them being in this situation in the first place and they need to know that going in, not thinking it will be a walk in the park, a piece of cake.  Worthwhile?, absolutely, easy?, absolutely not.  Certainly consider it, by all means, but know what you are getting yourself and that child into before you take the plunge.  The system itself is broken, they are doing the best they can, I understand that, but lying about how easy it is to parent these equally broken kids isn't going to help anybody, most especially the kids.