Christmas in a box

Next to getting married, buying a house, and having kids, buying a family christmas tree is next on the list for major life changes…perhaps I exaggerate (just a tad), but we have taken the plunge.  We've had a cute little four foot tree I picked up a few years ago on sale after christmas and it sufficed for our tiny apartment and with our childless family/indifferent baby we didn't need or want more.  Now I have a house and a coming three year old, it is time to start some family traditions of our own.  Real or fake is a very divisive issue, especially up at the north pole which we recently vacated; up there you could cut your own right in the backyard and likely find an elf or two to help you carry it home.  Here, trees of any sort are mythical and the poor creatures sold at the local tree lot are so pathetic even Charlie Brown would think twice about taking one home, especially when he'd have to sell a kidney to afford one.

I have always been a fan of fake (much easier!, no mess, use it year after year, no prickly dead tree to dispose of, etc.).  I suppose I miss that 'real pine smell,' but then I've never owned a new car either so I don't envy the mythical 'new car' scent people talk about.  I'd rather bake some bread or make cookies to get the house 'homey' in the olfactory sense.  I could always snort some pinesol if I get desperate or use one of those pine tree car fresheners as an ornament I suppose?  To me, the mess and fuss isn't worth a fresh piney scent.  So I got on the phone with santa and our tree came pronto…well it was delivered but it was ordered online and came UPS.  It is a dangerous thing ordering one of these beasts unseen, except for the postage stamp image on the website, but it should be okay, if it isn't we can always cover it with unsightly junk and hide the hideous foliage…wait, isn't that what this is all about in the first place?  Now the questions is, have I enough ornaments?  Probably not, our little four footer couldn't hold them all but this monster is another story.  I might have to buy some of those too!  So this is how christmas became commercialized, it is like that 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie' book beloved of small ones; if you do X then you must do Y, if Y then Z…and on and on.  Gracious, I have just lost my soul and all for want of a christmas tree…maybe we should avoid dyeing easter eggs too, just in case…maybe I should get the grinch to come and remind me of the true meaning of the holiday, but have you any idea of the price of Roast Beast right now?  Oh dear, oh dear…the holiday stress has begun!