Missing the point

For some reason 'adult only' weddings have been in the cultural focus of late, but as I think upon it (and read a bit of what others have to say), I think many are missing the point.  I am annoyed that one wedding advice site says to say 'budget constraints' are the reason (whether they are or not) when asked by upset relatives as to why their darling children aren't invited, but the etiquette of lying to your wedding guests to save face is another topic entirely.  The problem is at root, a clash of world views, our idea of what marriage is and why it is (or is not) important.

Modern American culture says life is about me, most especially my wedding day.  In this light, the person throwing the party should get to make the rules and if that means kids aren't invited, that's just how it is and we must respect that, no matter how much you disagree, because, in the end, it is their party.

The problem is, the traditional view of marriage (and weddings) is that they involve more than 'us' or 'me.'  Whereas you can have an adult only gala celebrating just about anything and no one will complain, marriage has traditionally involved children, families, and communities, so when you want to throw a wedding that's just about 'me,' and say kids/families aren't welcome, you are running head on into tradition and what some may consider a 'quaint' cultural norm.  But in a day where marriage is no longer the cornerstone of families or society, to many, it is just another party or reason to celebrate, 'me.'    You used to have to get married before having kids, now it isn't even a vital part of the equation (or so modern society tells us), so why invite kids to your wedding?

I find it a sad commentary on modern social trends, just another symptom of our dying family culture, and that saddens me far more than a kid-free wedding invitation.  It is just another party, just another relationship, what's the big deal?  That so many people can't answer that question is truly frightening.