A recent article highlighting the alternative lifestyle of an Olympic gold medalist is causing quite a stir amongst a subpopulation who had pretty much given up on ever being considered trendy, interesting, or nontraditional, but it seems all that is about to change. In our ever changing and evolving culture, what was once considered 'normal' is apparently the new 'radical,' and what was once 'radical' is now run of the mill, ho-hum, everyday 'normal.' So what is this trendy new lifestyle choice? Hold onto your socks, the 1950's are back! Yes, if you want to be the coolest cat in town, just get married (to a person of the opposite gender) and have a kid or three. There you have it folks, heterosexual marriage with biological children, the so-called traditional family, is now nontraditional. So let's hear what people are saying about this new lifestyle choice:
"I'm thrilled, absolutely thrilled! I never thought I would see the day when we were 'cool!' My husband and I had always thought we were a little weird or outdated or something. It was one of those things you just couldn't talk about at the office or the playground. You just felt like there was something wrong with you, that it was not socially acceptable, that the world looked down on you, but it isn't that way any more! My daughters would come home in tears because they didn't have two mommies or half siblings or because they actually knew who their father was; they didn't have a 'cool' family like all the other kids. Now they can be as proud of their 'stodgy' married, opposite gender parents as all their friends are of their various and assorted family makeups." ~Susan Sawyer, wife and mother of two.
"I don't know, I think we have enough letters as it is. People are starting to think it is some sort of alternative alphabet or something already. We've used most of the letters, maybe they could start some sort of an auxiliary group or something. I'm also a bit disappointed, it is getting to be like in grade school where everybody is special which means that really, no one is. It is kind of weird to have society considering us 'normal' and the so-called nuclear family is now the 'alternative.' I guess I'm really gonna miss being 'special,' but I guess we had our turn and now someone else gets a chance." Pat Rick, spokesperson for the LGTBQUDOCISLFMHA, Swamp River Tennessee Chapter.
"I'm jealous, really. I thought polygamy would go mainstream before this happened. We are always getting overlooked, forgotten, and neglected. It just isn't fair! We are the true 'alternative lifestyle' if you ask me. What's so exciting about only one wife anyway? I hate that we still have to hide who and what we are when these people are now socially acceptable. When will it be our turn?" Molly (not her real name), wife 3/5 of an unnamed man.
"It really weirds me out. Who does that sort of thing any more? What is this, the 1950's? Next we'll be applauding home schooling, floor length skirts, and people who have more than two kids! I bet this skier guy's wife never even completed high school, let alone went to college. What kind of an example is she setting? If she wants to date men, fine. Or have a kid, fine. But why does she need to go all retro on us? She is a disgrace to the feminist community. The least they could do is keep this sort of thing quiet." Mary Marks, spokeswoman for the Radical Fems society at Alma Mater College, Swamp River New Jersey.
(This 'article' is complete fiction folks, provided only for amusement purposes, all of the interviewees are figments of the author's imagination. The source article is real, but this is just a silly response to it.)
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