Who cares what you call it, it is chocolate!

I'm a huge fan of 'pudding cake' and always on the lookout for an interesting variant (one of those lovely confections that's half cake half pudding and all chocolate).  I'd love to call this 'recipe' "Brownie Pudding," but alas, that moniker already belongs to Better Homes and Gardens and is one of my favorites for quick, warm, chocolaty goodness with stuff I already have on hand.  I found the original recipe for this version on Pinterest for the crockpot.  The results were good, but not great, it was also about impossible to tell when the thing was done (the original called for a 7 quart crock, mine is a 3.5 so it was about twice as thick which is probably the problem); the edges were burned while the center was still a liquid mess and as I tried to scoop it out the stuff 'fried' along the super hot edges of the crock, cooking it but making it hard to tell exactly how long I should leave it in the crock for future reference.  Instead, I tried it in the oven in a 9x13 pan with much better results (it was also quicker).

1 box brownies, batter prepared per box instructions (for a 9x13 batch)
1 box instant chocolate pudding, prepared per box directions (4 servings)
Ice cream

Spread brownie batter in a 9x13 cake pan and top with pudding.  Bake at 350 until set but not firm, will be jiggly like jello but solid around the edges, if still liquidy, bake a little longer; middle should bubble occassionally.  Serve with ice cream (absolutely not optional!).  Definitely tastier than the original 'brownie pudding' recipe but also a bit more expensive to make.  The pudding layer is on top rather than on the bottom with this version.  Upside down brownie pudding?

The day the wonder (bread) died

I once had some bread, I don't even remember where, but I've been looking for the recipe or technique ever since but thus far have been thwarted in my efforts.  It was so soft and fluffy and the loaf pulled apart without being sliced.  I may have finally found it.  The other day I ran across a recipe for 'Japanese Milk Bread, and since the pictures looked amazing, I thought I'd give it a try.  And unlike almost every other recipe I've ever tried, it was as good as the picture looked.  I searched the internet, looked at several different recipes, and then combined them to see what happened and it was the fluffiest, softest, prettiest bread I've ever made, perhaps a little bland, but the texture was amazing.  Then I thought it would make great cinnamon rolls, they weren't bad, but my sourdough recipe is better (apparently the elaborate shaping involved in this sort of bread is actually functional!).  I'm still playing with the recipe/technique but it really does make the fluffiest, softest bread and it stays soft for several days.  It is a very interesting technique and I think I'll try it with my other bread recipes.

Update: here's a great article on the science behind the tangzhong method of bread making, for all you chemistry geeks out there.

To make rolls:

In a microwave safe mug combine 2 tbsp flour with 6 tbsp water, microwave on high until thickened (35 seconds in mine).  Pour into bread machine pan and add 1 egg, 1/2 cup warm milk, 1 tsp salt and 2 3/4 cup flour and a tsp of instant yeast.  Run on dough cycle and add 2 tbsp of cold butter once the other ingredients are well combined.  Remove after the second knead cycle and let rest for 10 minutes.  Divide into 12 balls, rolling each into a long oval.  Fold in one long side and then top with the other then roll up like a jelly roll (spiral from the short end) and place seam side down (spirals on either side) in a greased cake pan for dinner rolls or a separate on a cookie sheet for buns.  Repeat with other balls and let rise until double.  Brush with milk, oil, or butter just before baking.  Bake until set in middle and golden brown.

The best baby gift ever?

My favorite scene in the movie '27 Dresses' involves the sister of the bride going off to some swanky department store to complete the couple's bridal registry.  Some whimsical, silly fit seems to possess her and she registers for all sorts of random things, each more funny than the last.  I've always wanted to do that.  And why not?  Bridal and baby registries are wasted on the young, right?  So what if I don't live within three hours of the nearest department store?  First time moms and brides to be have no clue what they want or need, shouldn't it be us old hats out there strutting our stuff?  And technically I am an 'expectant mother,' at least that's what the social worker said when our home study was approved, so what if it's been two years?  Okay, I convinced myself and went online to my favorite big box store and opened a baby registry (keeping it strictly private of course, I certainly don't expect anyone to buy something off the list, rather it was just an exercise in what might happen if I could do it all over again, older and hopefully wiser and less nervous so I can have a bit of fun too).

But it really wasn't all that fun.  Here I could put anything and everything on the list, I was all set to have the time of my life, but it all seemed rather pointless and hollow.  Yay, more cute onesizes, uh huh, already have 19 of those on the list.  Look at those cute patterns for car seats, but I already have 3 I like on the list...it isn't the planning, the nursery, the clothes, the gender reveal party...none of that matters in the long run.  Perhaps such things are better left to the 'young,' or at least the innocent and wide eyed girls who are about to embark on some great stage of this journey called life.  Yes, they have no idea what they are getting into, but they are so eager and hopeful and happy that you can't but be happy for them, and therein relive your own wide eyed eagerness a little too.  I think that's why people love grandkids so much: it lets them be young again without having the headache of parenting.  Maybe kid rentals will be a viable future business model instead of parenting; that's a frightening idea!

It isn't the wedding, the number of guests, the DJ, the flowers, the music, or the meal.  It isn't the frilly dresses or adorable toys.  It is the journey itself: the marriage or the parenting, that matters, that means something.  It's all the struggle and frustration, joy and fear, sorrow and love, pain and fun that make up this messy, wonderful thing called relationships and family.  They go in as wide eyed, eager kids but come out men and women, building character and lives and leaving a legacy that their great grandchildren will aspire to emulate, at least that is the hope.  But we give up so easily now, our tastes change, our love grows cold, something else sparks our interest.  We give up, abandon it all, seeking gold at the end of another rainbow, little understanding that chasing rainbows won't make us happy or give us purpose and fulfillment, rather holding fast when the weather gets rough and not giving up when the clouds come in, when the winds howl and you can't see the stars, by coming through the storm, that's how to find true joy, true love, the real purpose and meaning in life.

So go register for your trendy china pattern that you'll never use.  Get two or three wipes warmers just in case.  And have a good laugh about it in a year or five. But when the storms come, when frustration builds, fear threatens, doubt or tedium fall upon you, or grief rears its head, hold on, remember the who and the why of how you got there in the first place.  It isn't the what.  That stuff is necessary and fun, but it isn't the most important thing.  If you want the best gift of all, you'll have to wait and work for it, but you'll never doubt it was the right thing to do when you finally get there.

Finally, web design made easy!

For all of you webmaster wannabes out there, I have finally found a way to make it happen both easily and for free, plus it looks great.  What's my secret?  Years of html and my own hosting service?  Nope!  Check out wix.com and have fun, it is sort of addicting and the results are great!  I've dabbled in website design from the late '90's onward and this is by far the easiest and best looking solution I've found, sort of like DreamWeaver, but online and free (and it doesn't crash your Mac).  I'm paying for a website that doesn't look this good or have half the tools.  If you want to upgrade to a premium site, it is very affordable too.  Have fun!